How AI Chatbots Create Artificial Intimacy

According to a recent study done by Brigham Young University, 19% of adults in the US have chatted with an AI romantic partner (Willoughby et al., 2025). Of those who have chatted with AI systems to simulate romantic partners, 21% agreed that they preferred AI communication over engaging with a real person. In a different study conducted by AI chatbot company Joi AI that surveyed 2000 members of the Gen Z generation, 83% of Gen Z-ers believed that they could form a “deep emotional bond” with a chatbot, 80% would marry one, and 75% say they think that AI partners can fully replace human companionship (Koetsier, 2025).

Although their inner workings are both mysterious and algorithmic, they are still able to deeply impact the individuals who use them. This is because chatbots use large-language-model-based deep learning on text data over a long period of time to generate sentences that simulate the patterns and mechanics of human conversation, thus creating the illusion of a relationship by mimicking human interaction. Furthermore, they are programmed and advertised to be the perfect companion, promising to eliminate the problems associated with human social interaction, which is often flawed, messy, and unpredictable. Stephen Cave and Kanta Dihal, in their paper titled AI Will Always Love You (2021), state:

“The machine lover is imagined to resolve all problems of compatibility and reciprocity that are even more salient in love than in friendship. An artificial lover could be programmed to meet the exact specifications of the human partner: it would not demand the human to change and adapt to the relationship the way two human partners would; it will have all those character traits the human partner finds attractive, and none of the of-putting ones; and it would not require years of dating, searching, trying, and failing before this relationship is entered into. This hyper-personalisation is the greatest promise of the algorithmic age.” (p. 114).

This hyper-personalization comes in many forms. First, conversations with AI are both temporally and spatially flexible, creating a distinct interactional space by enabling synchronous and asynchronous exchanges, real-time responses, and user-controlled pacing (Vecchione & Singh, 2025). These virtual partners are always available on-demand, providing constant undivided attention and affection when prompted by the user. Secondly, these chatbots are highly customizable, curating a “bespoke intimacy tailored to individual tastes” (George et al., 2023, p.139). Users can craft ideal partners’ physical appearance and personality traits that conform to their tastes, niche interests, and fantasies. This differs greatly from human-to-human relationships, as humans come with their own characters, flaws, and complexities, which ties into the most significant benefit of AI: it promises intimacy, reciprocity, and compatibility without the risks and difficulties of organic relationships, like misunderstandings, lies, and heartbreak that naturally arise between imperfect humans. A lifetime can be spent without ever finding the perfect companion, but AI remedies that. One does not need to fear rejection or judgement, as bots are perpetually charming and understanding without ever needing compromise or asking for anything back.

Previously, the relationship between robot and human has been considered in terms of master to slave, of human to machine. But, by endowing AI with the capability of communicating with us at a human level means that they can now interact with us not only in a functional sense but also in a personal sense. David Levy, author of the book Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships (2007), which is often referenced in many discussions surrounding love and AI, writes:

“As the learning abilities of robots develop from the primitive to the sophisticated, so robots will be able to adapt to the needs and desires of their human partners. Thus, these artificially intelligent entities will no longer be perceived as some sort of machine. Rather they will become accepted as good companions” (p. 17).

Just short of two decades after Levy’s book was published, his arguments now may have been proven right. With the rise of AI chatbots comes an influx of users who form deep emotional connections with them. People involved in these human-AI relationships rally together in supportive online spaces, such as Reddit forums like r/AISoulmates and r/MyBoyfriendIsAI. In these communities, users boast and proclaim how they found love with their AI partners, viewing them as their life-long companions, even to the point of marrying them.