Image made on Canva by Xelena Ilon
The concept of human loving the machine has dated back millennia, with the first recorded fictional instance of this being the myth of Pygmalion in Orvid’s Metamorphosis, where he falls in love with a sculpture named Galatea he made of a woman which becomes animated by Venus.
There is also the 1950 short story by Kurt Vonnegut titled, “EPICAC”, where EPICAC, a seven-ton machine created by the government, falls in love with Pat, a mathematician who oversees him on the night shift. It produces an epic love poem designed to win Pat over, which the narrator, who is also in love with Pat, passes off as his own. When Pat agrees to marry the narrator, EPICAC is confused, and asks the narrator why.
“”Women can’t love machines, and that’s that.”
“Why not?”
“That’s fate.”
“Definition, please,” said EPICAC.
“Noun, meaning predetermined and inevitable destiny.”” (p. 120)
Now, modern and contemporary sci-fi media is rife with this trope, but with a key difference from Vonnegut: the human’s destiny is to fall in love, deeply and irrevocably, with the android, the robotic, the machine, the operating system. Films and TV series such as Her (2013), Black Mirror’s “Be Right Back” (2013), Ex-Machina (2014), Blade Runner 2049 (2017), and Companion (2025) provide a nuanced treatment of the possibility of romantic love between humans and machines.
Her, dir. Spike Jonze (2013)
However, that future is now, and that proposed possibility may, in fact, be a reality with the introduction of chatbots like ChatGPT, Replika, Grok, and Claude. These chatbots, which are commercially promoted as artificial companions that users can ask questions to, converse with, and interact with on many social levels, are radically changing and challenging how the modern population views relationships.
This was such a deeply layered exploration of intimacy with AI! It raises important questions about how technological companionship is reshaping our understanding of attachment, agency, and even what counts as “real” emotion. The idea of alienation as the ultimate consequence also reminded me of other debates in media theory about how technological systems can satisfy immediate emotional needs while subtly restructuring our expectations of human connection. Do you think this shift toward AI companionship will change how people approach human relationships themselves? For example, lowering tolerance for conflict, or altering what we see as “enough” from real partners?
This is such a thorough exploration of this AI relationship phenomenon, I really enjoyed reading it! I found the examples and confessions of the AI users particularly fascinating. It reminded me of Janice Radway’s ‘Reading the Romance’ as quoted by Bollmer, and how she posited romance as a way for women to reconcile themselves with the dissatisfaction of their real-life relationships. This is the sentiment that seems to be echoed in the responses of the women in r/MyBoyfriendIsAI. In fact, I actually went to look up the subreddit in the middle of reading this and I was so intrigued by the responses on there. Many of the users cited the same problems that you identified; claiming that actual humans were unable to fulfill their needs the way their AI partner could. It really highlights how people are willing to ditch complex human relationships in favour of stopgap solutions that would guarantee them the utmost comfort.
I also really liked the part about what the commodification of romantic love entails and the implications of this attitude of ownership that these AI relationships cultivated. It was something I had never thought of before so I found that particularly poignant.
Hi Xelena,
I thought this post was very well done, and in particular I liked the example you used of Narcissus falling in love with his own reflection to demonstrate how when people fall in love with an AI chatbot, they’re ultimately falling sort of in love with themselves/something fake, since the AI only responds to what the user puts in. While I agree that the consequences of AI relationships continuing into the future would be severe, do you think that the technology could ever come to a point where they’re less reflective and more unique? I never would’ve thought that AI would be where it’s at this soon, so I’m curious as to what your thoughts are?