This entry has been a long time coming.
It makes me kind of sad that I don’t have a single photo from my high school graduation ceremony. You know those ones, where everyone is dressed in oversized, red-rimmed black gowns with somewhat forceful grins on their faces? And then there is some blurry shot of a figure walking across a dark stage? Nope, not me. In fact, I didn’t even attend this fabled important rite of passage. At the time, I was on a plane to Beijing, with the plan of coming back to Vancouver ASAP and spending as much time as possible during the the summer working to pay for a $40 000 per year tuition.
So I guess I should start my story at the beginning.
UBC was not my first choice university. For a brief time in junior year, the basement of Koerner became my second home as I toiled over a thesis paper. During the last few years of high school, I had the “fortune” of riding the 480 bus, where I vowed to never become one of the tired-looking university students spending two hours on commuting every day. UBC was too familiar, too local, too easy to get in (I know, I’m sorry). The “been there, done that” feeling was overwhelming. In April 2008, I promptly submitted both my Statement of Intent to Register and housing deposit to a fine university on the west coast of the United States. Sunny California was calling my name and I prepared to bid farewell to rainy Vancouver.
Three months later, after I had gotten my dorm room number and planned cost-effective ways of getting to Cali by train, I threw it all away. Multiple banks turned down my loan applications. My parents shook their heads soberly: they simply couldn’t afford it. That day in August when I gave up the US school and decided to attend UBC instead, I cried – both out of frustration and relief. On one hand, I finally have a definite future, one involving one of best-regarded universities in this country where I knew what to expect in terms of academics, involvement, and expenses. On the other hand, why should I be restricted in my education by finances? Why should I be bereft of the opportunity I earned by merit, when other people had trust funds, RESPs, rich relatives, and parents with savings? What was so fundamentally wrong with me that private universities with financial aid turned me down? It is with these unanswered, unanswerable questions that I came to UBC.
I won’t lie. Despite all the wonderful things that were going on in my life, the best way to describe the first few months of my university career would be “mundane and trivial”. School was neither intellectually-stimulating nor particularly challenging. Some of my profs cared, some didn’t. I still worked two to three jobs, was dead tired half the time, and yearned to sleep in on Sunday morning.
Some where along the way, things changed. UBC took its hold on me. I lived and breathed Sauder and started to love every single moment of my time here. I met a supportive group of friends, peers, staff members, faculty etc. They say university is where you meet your best friends for life, and it’s absolutely true. In addition, I had – and still have – numerous opportunities to observe how things work behind the scenes in this great institution. I appreciate and vividly remember every single elusive moment that left a happy impression on me. Four years of post-secondary eduction in the grand scheme of things is a mere instant. I intend to treasure my time at UBC, no matter how brief or intermittent.
I love UBC. I love it for the humbleness with which it presents itself to the world. I love it for the opportunities it gives to people like me to blog at our hearts’ desire. I love it for its glorious achievements on the world stage of academia. I love it in all its imperfections and idiosyncracies.
Ten years down the road, no matter where I am, I will always remember how UBC as an institution and as a collective of talented minds young and old changed my outlooks on life forever.
Awww…this entry really strikes a chord in me as well…I totally understand how you feel.
agree with u that finance thing is so annoying…there should be equality to education! But meh, I used to have so much prejudice against local universities, but it was not until I was there too that I realized ppl here all have their own talents and that everyone of them is as deserving of my admiration as ppl in top schools.
A long time coming indeed. I remember speaking to you about this earlier, and am glad you’ve found your ‘happy place’.
Aww this was so beautiful to read! I know how you feel about UBC though, even though it’s one of the best universities in Canada, it still feels very local~
o-o I wanted to go to McGill. Not as expensive as the US but it put a strain on my parent’s financial matters. Although I don’t have a feeling of “been there, done that” with UBC~
Why were you at UBC so much during high school though?? o-o Is this an IB thing or a Phoebe thing?
Phoebe, I totally understand what you mean when you say UBC seemed so near, so…plainly attainable and right there, I do suppose you could put it. But like you, I grew to enjoy my first year greatly – the “mundane and trivial” included. Arts One saved my life, I guess you could say – the way Sauder did for you. It’s all about perspective, and once I started considering that the only reason I felt this way was because UBC’s always been here, and while I was griping, people from around the world were trying to get in – now. that puts it into a rather different light entirely…
Hi Phoebe,
This is Peter, friend of Bob Wang. Thanks for the story. Looking forward to meeting with you in the future.
4 months will feel like forever… but I’m glad you’re happy and that’s ultimately what counts.
Hi Phoebe,
I still don’t know how to quite approach this comment. Your writing is striking. Not only the words but the weight behind what you are saying. I feel deeply saddened and inspired by your strength, courage, and most of all your honesty about life’s curve-balls and your quiet acceptance, and determination to change what you can.
You can laugh at this, but I always knew you were smarter than me, tried harder than me, and had more courage to deal with life’s unfairness (trust me on this, I am really not that strong, especially when my mom left Canada, and I tried to deal with IB and on my own without my parents for 2 years). When I heard that you couldn’t come to Cal because of financial reasons, I felt really unworthy. Deep down there was a sense of “wrongness” with all of this. I didn’t know how to deal with it, and I still don’t know how to approach this. I knew you really deserved it. Deserved it more than a lot of people. But I didn’t know how to help you or what to even say as comfort or encouragement. Reading now that you had to work two jobs in addition to school just saddens and inspires me again. Knowing that you had to overcome so much more hardship than me makes me wonder why I ever whined about living on my own.
About what you are saying about UBC, I know exactly what you mean. Especially after submitting your intent to register for UCB and preping everything… I don’t know how I would have reacted. Crying is perhaps an understatement. But your ability to always look on the bright side, and to put all of your strength into your dreams is truly truly admirable. I’m feel really happy for you that you met friends at UBC that you truly connect with.
So finally, CONGRATULATIONS ON CORNELL!!! I’m so happy for you this whole “application to college” thing is coming to a happy ending, and a truly marvelous beginning for you. So many amazing people at Cornell! I’m sure you will find a good fit there. Show them what Canadians are made of!!
So yeah, hope you have a great summer. Funny how I never really talk to you but feel like I can resonate with what you are saying. Hope you truly enjoyed this entire “tour”! Best of luck in everything you do! =)
And I really need to get some sleep….
To be truthful, I was a bit puzzled as to why you wrote this but now it all makes sense. Happy trails, unfurl your sails and embolden your heart; the adventure begins anew!
Hey Phoebe!
First and foremost, Congratulations on your acceptance to Cornell! In this happy transition, I wish you all the best and please, keep in touch :)! I’ll miss stepping onto the 480 and finding your familiar face amongst those sleepy heads. In all honesty, in those brief occasions when I got to speak to you at lenght, your positivity and your different perspective in life’s problems, befuddles and amazes me. No question about it, you’re a fighter. 😀
Good Luck in your future endeavours!
UBC wasn’t my first choice university either; I got into every university I applied to except that one. When I was doing university applications, I hadn’t yet had time to consider what my second choice was, I wanted my first choice so badly. I came to UBC by a process of elimination and was absolutely miserable for my first term.
I have never had to work as hard as you, so I admire you all the more for what you have had to overcome. Easy for me to say, hard for you to have done, but I think it’s made you a far better and stronger person than I am right now. You deserve all the happiness and success I know you’re going to get as a result of your hard work. :]
I too absolutely adore UBC – the students, some of the profs, the hidden corners (anyone seen the mining cart hid behind the geological sciences building?). Nice article, Phoebe!
good luck Phoebe! Have fun at Cornell! 🙂
Victor
Hey Phoebe!
I was in a similar situation to yours. In fact, our situations are almost identical. I’ll be attending UBC come September, despite my previous intentions of attending an American eastcoast university. And guess what? I’m also from Churchill IB where the notorious Ms.Patton resides as a second home. Back in March, I had every intention on going to that certain American university. I didn’t even consider fianances. That is, until this little thing called a Global Financial Crisis hit us. A 40k/year university was simply not in the best interest of my family’s monetary well-being.
The irony of it all is even if I accepted that certain university’s offer, I still wouldn’t have been able to go. I was one of the few unfortunate students whose IB predicteds were greatly exaggerated, compared to my actual IB score. I suppose my dismal attitude towards studying after having to reject my offer was partly to blame for it. But that’s all irrelevant because I am obviously fated to study in UBC. And I’m glad everything worked out the way it has because I’ve now come to a deeper appreciation of UBC. It has beautiful campus and prestige amongst other Canadian universities. And most important – it’s cheap and practical. As Dr.G always said, my undergraduate studies should not hold bias towards any specific institution. An undergraduate is just what it is. Schools only start to matter during graduate studies. I’m not sure if that’s 100% true, but I choose to believe it.
“I love UBC. I love it for the humbleness with which it presents itself to the world. I love it for the opportunities it gives to people like me to blog at our hearts’ desire. I love it for its glorious achievements on the world stage of academia. I love it in all its imperfections and idiosyncrasies.”
And so you’re leaving. It makes total sense.
I understand you want to give this whole thing a pleasant aftertaste and all, which on one level is very sweet and sensitive of you, but in the end it’s very hard to read past the (and I don’t mean this in a nasty way but rather in an introspective and honest kind of way) blatant hypocrisy in this post.
You are leaving UBC for a place that you personally conceive to be more romantic and more kickass-in-general than the one you find yourself in now: the Northeastern US. At first glance it all makes perfect sense: it’s the Ivy League for gosh’s sakes! Better teachers, better students, free money and a better locale (well, substitute freezing winters for rain, but lets not quibble) — who wouldn’t do it?
If you had left your post at that (despite the fact that one could still make the case that UBC [or at least Sauder] isn’t all that inferior to Cornell [i.e. intro classes {which you mentioned in your post} are notoriously bad at both schools]), you would have gotten full points for honesty.
Instead, you douse your readers with eau-de-regret and feigned nostalgia. UBC is great? It seems you’ve been trying to get away from it since high school, and now that you’re moving on to (what you perceive to be) greener pastures, you have nothing but kind words for the place.
For someone who claims they’ll never forget UBC, you seem to have given it very little chance to prove itself.
@A Bit Confused
“but in the end it’s very hard to read past the blatant hypocrisy in this post.”
I see no hypocrisy in speaking kind of an institution that I genuinely care about. This post may be painful to read, but it was also painful to write. It took four months and in that time life tugged me in all kinds of direction. I see no need to defend my words.
“You are leaving UBC for a place that you personally conceive to be more romantic and more kickass-in-general than the one you find yourself in now”
Correction, I’m leaving Sauder for a unique program in the U.S. that is not offered anywhere else.
“despite the fact that one could still make the case that UBC [or at least Sauder] isn’t all that inferior to Cornell”
I never said UBC was inferior to Cornell. I am making this decision based on very personal reasons – amongst them, the choice of program, the desire to not have a B. Comm, and my family’s financial situation. You seem to believe that this is an assault to UBC, which is understandable considering the nature of the blog. If I had gone to that West Coast US School in freshman year (which in fact was a good school with US News Ranking of Top 25+), I would still have transferred if I researched Cornell’s program.
“It seems you’ve been trying to get away from it since high school, and now that you’re moving on to (what you perceive to be) greener pastures, you have nothing but kind words for the place.”
The first part is true to an extent, but if you read the entry at all, you would realize that despite ALL my attempts to not give UBC a chance, the school grew on me. There are opportunities here I will never find anywhere else (one club in particular). For the first time in my life I met people whom I respected for their intellect. I fell in love, in more ways than one. If you asked me a year ago I would’ve said I could easily pack up and leave. But this time around, I will not be sure I made the right decision until I graduate with my degree.
“For someone who claims they’ll never forget UBC, you seem to have given it very little chance to prove itself.”
See above. I am amused that you are making claims on a public forum in anonymity. I’d be more than happy to talk about this with you in person.
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As a college administrator I can tell you that higher education has fallen on hard times, so I hope that folks like you, who enjoyed their college experience, will give what you can to the college(s) you attended.
The grass isn’t always greener, dear. I live in sunny so-cali and I’m actually headed to UBC in September for an exchange program. I’d KILL to get out of this scorching heat and pollution to hit up the slopes!!! Pure. White. Snow. Someone somewhere will always want to be in your shoes 😛
I’m so glad I found this blog since I really don’t know what to expect in Vancouver. Keep up the good work 🙂