Tag Archives: tim chu

lulz of the day

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Thanks to a cute little birdie and his tweet, we’ve stumbled upon some EPIC FORESHADOWING.
This post was written back when the Executive was a little sexier and included this resolution for 2010 2008:

At EAT CAKE, we– and by we I mean I, but we sounds so much cooler– solemnly resolve to never stop making fun of people who treat the AMS like it was the United Nations.

Lots of love to this fellow unicorn lover, and take in the hilarity.

PS- Presidential candidate Sean Kim was disqualified for not having 50 verified student numbers. Now, he’s reinstated. Long live handwriting!

Canadian Unicorns

Aaaand they’re off.

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Day one after the announcement of candidates, and rumor has it

(and by ‘rumor’ I mean verifiable evidence plus the natural supposition that of course elections officials are in Panic Epic Work Mode at the moment)

that Chief Elections Officer & CEO of Our Hearts Isabel Ferreras has spent her morning off and on the phone to her staff.  Certainly we’ve already seen three—three!—BoG candidates drop out.  Goodbye, Peter Stein, AJ Hajir Hajian, and Nader Beyzaei—we hardly knew ye.

We’ve got the complete list for you after the break, but first, let’s take a little walk down quelle scandale potentiale lane, y’all.

The buzz at beer last night and brunch this morning was triplefold—quadruple if you count the cheap Gallery pitchers—but it boils down to this:

  1. Blake Frederick.  It’s been too easy lately to forget that our BF came into office as something of a golden boy, hailed by supporters and detractors alike both for his passionate commitment and political credentials.

    Happier times.  (Photo: Gerald Deo)

    And despite—or perhaps because of—the shitshow that’s marked his end of term, Frederick hasn’t given up the political life.  He’s thrown his hat into, in fact, three races—not only the usual Senate/BoG pairing, but also the Ubyssey’s Board of Directors.  This last is interesting considering that Frederick & our beloved campus publication are not what you’d call the best of friends.  There have been scathing editorials all round and a rather sudden crackdown on AMS communications policy getting in the way of good relations.  With all that history, one wonders what the Ubyssey Board could look like at this time next year—assuming, of course, that Frederick doesn’t disqualify himself by winning another race.

  2. The positions of interest. Although it’s not unusual to see BoG, Senate, and VP External attract a few more competitors than other positions, this year’s International Student Rep hopefuls are almost frighteningly numerous.  You guys know this position is non-voting, right?  (And Star, you know you submitted all materials without a last name, right? you do know? and it’s a thing? oh. cool.)  It’s also heartening to see two relative unknowns rounding out the Presidential nominees, although it makes hunting for pictures a heckuva lot harder.  Don’t even ask me about typing the tags up for this post.  RIDICULOUS.

    YOU SEE HOW I SUFFER FOR YOU

  3. The Elections Committee’s (presumed) accountability screed. One of the new features this year will be a PENALTY BOX on the Elections official website.  Isabel Ferreras is a formidable woman, as seen here:

    cower, puny candidates!! leg-biting will be penalized!

    and we have no doubt that she won’t hesitate to use this box, which purpose is to daily—publicly!—keep the voting public very aware of any and all “warnings, violations, infractions and penalties.” It’s a move we here at Fuzzy Kitten Unicorn Scandal are looking forward to a little too much, frankly.

BUT WHO ELSE is out there? here are the people we’ll be stalking bothering in the name of Fair Game Media Coverage for the next month:

Continue reading →

WWND: What Would Naylor Do?

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With the ballot approval of 5 of 6 Matt Naylor-driven referenda in last night’s Council meeting and a pledge by the aforementioned Arts Man to collect the required signatures to push the EPIC slates question through, this election is taking on a decidedly Naylor-esque focus.  In fact, perusal of our (rather limited) files would seem to indicate a decidedly Naylorean focus to a lot of political events ’round these parts.

In last night’s happenings, Naylor was named Chair of the Legislative Procedures Committee, effectively making him Chairman Naylor and cementing his title as the robust ruler of AMS Council. There is a war raging on campus, as evidenced in last night’s meeting, between the current President and the People. Naylor has begun the Long March towards 1000 signatures and will not stop until his archnemesis Stalin Blake Frederick is held accountable for his rendezvous <insert human rights jokes here>.

Whether you want to sound smarter & more politically involved to that cutie sitting next to you at debates (come on, you know all this power stuff just turns you on), or you’re a member of UVSS who’s determined to follow mainland happenings, here are a few terms to drop in the next three months before the big man finally, like all student politicians, graduates.

Naylorism: A lengthy comment characterized by verbal free-wheeling, grandstanding, or at least one reference to something one holds dear, i.e. an established office or Democracy—bonus points for condemning, in the midst of this, Tim Chu.  A Double Naylorism can be achieved by following with a wry comment, being cut off by Speaker Dave, or inadvertently spitting/pounding the table with your fist.  A Triple Naylorism requires a shot of Aquavit just to get started.

These positions are not to be used as personal chew toys – ignoring relationship maintenance is the same as ignoring the UPass – it is a vital part of the portfolio left undone.

The AMS is very sick. It is in need of more structural reform than I could have imagined. The people who are elected to serve it … are being deceitful, disingenuous, disorganized, disrespectful … [and are] responsible for shattering the Society’s democratic safeguards.

The Olympic legacy on campus could be far more than a new arena – I am concerned that it could represent the opening of the floodgates in terms of the abuse of civil liberties on campus.

Meta-Naylorism: any Naylorism which includes a self-aware reference to cult geek fandom, e.g. Star Wars, Star Trek, BSG, Buffy.

Giles: “I’ll have you know that I have very, um, many relaxing hobbies.”
Buffy: “Such as?”
Giles: “Well, um…I enjoy cross-referencing.”

– Naylor on Lexis-Nexis

Naylorite: 1) A devotee of all things Naylor, particularly those who own two or more former Naylor campaign materials.  2) A political ally who benefits from Naylorean enthusiasm/epic Naylorisms, whether or not their support is widely expressed.  3) Taylor Loren, total Naylor groupie (who was near tears when proxying for him last night), ruiner of any shred of supposed journalistic neutrality/integrity, as evidenced by this Top Secret File:

Witness.

*For context: “Naylorism” Quotes One, Two, and Three.

Last Night’s Whatever

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Researchers say the G-spot doesn’t appear to exist.  Super-tragic!  However, there are still lots of fun things for you to play with from last night’s Council meeting—like these brand-spanking-new ballot-approved referenda:

  1. DESTROY ALL BLAKES
  2. DESTROY ALL TIMS
  3. “Engagement Levy”
  4. Fees Tied to CPI
  5. —fail—requires more signatures to get Slates
  6. Bylaw Amendments for Director Removal, etc.

And rumors abound of the following folks being tipped for nominations—although nothing’s in stone until Saturday’s meeting.  (If you know anything fun about one of them that’s not going to consitute a gross violation of privacy—past political efforts, charming policy predilections—do give us a shout.)

  • VP Academic: Rodrigo Ferrari-Nunes (former pres nominee plus a bunch of other involvement, Ben Cappellacci (psyduck lover, safewalk coordinator, marketing, DKE)
  • VP Admin: Ekat Dovjenko (Commerce rep, dangerous curves)
  • VP Finance: empty????
  • President: Natalie Swift (08-09 Forestry rep, VPX FUS, sexy plaid-wearer); Bijan Ahmadian (um… everything, “Persian Mario”)
  • VP External: Jeremy McElroy (Man of Arts, sexy DJ), Tim Chu (possible fallback career: go-go dancer?)
  • Undecided: Aaron Palm (joke candidate?, former silly VP Admin candidate)

But enough of this old news.  For what do you salivate, dear Ubyssey editorial staff readers?  oh yeah.  FASHION COUNCIL!!!1!!

Although Dylan Callow (Commerce kid-at-large) continued to represnt classy short coats & a general aura of healthy Canadian youth, I’m afraid it was the Arts kids who again swept our highly subjective grading system.  Tim Chu repeated a truly epic small-check collared shirt, which, combined with his ultra-soft grey sweater, managed to communicate both fantastic style and an aura of cuddliness. Plus, smaller man, layering up, always good.  Mitch Wright dialled it in with his usual hipster-casual, but points are awarded for finding the perfect mustard t-shirt to pair with one of the colors in your ubiquitous plaid.  Guillaume Houle‘s amazing buttery leathery grandpa shoes set our editors s-s-s-swooning, and Crystal Hon kindly pointed out to us that although she was wearing Uncharacteristic Pants (gasp!shock!) her top was Ella Moss.  Studded.  KNITWEAR WIN.

Who is YOUR Prince Charming?

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If you’re sitting in AMS Council and getting a little bored, a little horny noticing all the beautiful faces around you and slipping into lalaland, have no fear! We are here to help you solve the burning desires of your heart and your loins.

So, who is YOUR Prince Charming? Click this flow chart to find out who you are meant to be with <3 <3 <3

Timkachu– If you like to take charge and love all things left or orange and need a sidekick in life, he is the man for you. Maybe you can take advantage of all his sweet awesome lobbying skills and do it in a Translink bus?

Blake– The next maverick and saviour of all things oppressed, he’s a real take charge kind of guy. Beware, he may have a sexy fling with an expensive lawyer lover on the side.

Geoff- The next conservative minority Great Prime Minister needs a lady by his side who can be quiet, dress well, and say something intelligent when asked. If you are going to UBC and getting a BA and never really plan on using it, Geoff is your guy. Be prepared for a life in the spotlight and lots of petting. Kittens, that is.

Tom- Pretty much the perfect combination of class mixed with nerdiness, this finance lover will keep you secure, satisfied, and leading a generally happy life. What isn’t to love about those baby blues? If you are a woman who is going to law school and intends on having an awesome career, Tom will be the perfect trophy husband.

Jeremy- This DJ will keep you and your beats rocking until the early dawn. Rumoured to be the best kisser on Council, his boisterous personality is the perfect match to your popularity and overall Carrie sex appeal. Who knows, he might even turn out to be your Mr. Big 😉

Johannes- The most beautiful of them all, Johannes is the brainy yet dreamy man for you, the epitome of a Prince Charming. Plus, his electric violin musicality will have you wanting more more more. For all you Charlotte-types out there, Johannes is the pretty-boy fantasy for your white picket fences. We recommend spooning. In fact, we always recommend spooning.

Mike Duncan- So fabulous he has two names, this photo says it all. Let out the sexual animal in you by going cowgirl…wait, is that a fist I see? If you are so badass that you don’t need a man for money/security/happiness and just want some love and lovemaking, Mike is your Prince. Plus, according to his Facebook, he wants to be a stay-at-home dad.

Like your result? Leave it for us in the comments & let everyone know who your dream AMS lovah is.

Naylor Smash MORE! & other potential funtimes

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UBC Insiders, with their commitment to Issues That Matter, beat us to the punch, but in case you like your news with unicorns, here are the six questions (a.k.a possible future referenda) being circulated for votes:

  1. Remove Blake from office
  2. Remove Tim from office
  3. A $5 “engagement levy”—also known as a fee to be paid by non-voters
  4. The (exciting!!!) return of slates
  5. Indexing AMS fees to the CPI (Consumer Price Index) so they rise with inflation
  6. Amending bylaws so that future execs can be removed from office legally PLUS bonus voting seats for VST, Regent and St. Mark’s

The democratic process round these parts being what it is, we’d like to remind you potential newly-interested voters that you can sign one single petition for some, all, or none of these questions.  In other words, it’s hell of easy to exercise your god- and AMS-fees-given voting rights. And heck, even if you’re not sure how you feel, signing only contributes toward making these referenda—meaning the student body as a whole will have to vote on them again.

The thoughtful Kyle Warwick was taking a clipboard door-to-door today in the SUB, and there’s a permanent station over in MASS if you’re near Buchanan tomorrow and feel like gettin’ political. And sexy. Because politics, if you were unaware, is FUN and SEXXXY

And finally, to fulfill our daily quota, here’s a unicorn within a unicorn:

Naylor Potentially Smash

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Fuck the other referenda.  Glorious Impeachment cannot be stopped!

Yesterday, the (really, really) ridiculously good looking Taylor Matt Naylor was passing around a petition for impeachment. How is this possible, you ask? You mean we might not be stuck with have Mr. Blake Frederick and his sidekick Timkachu representing us due to a legal blip? Yes, my friends. This is a possibility.

How smash? In order to remove Blim, a referendum would occur in which YOU, the student body, would decide whether we should have an interim President/VP External until the new one steps in. For this referendum to happen, 1000 signatures are needed.  Considering our regular voter turnout, collecting that many signatures in two days could potentially be called some form of “mandate,” possibly “from the people.”

If we can’t remove them democratically, we’ll have to remove them democratically.
-Hillson Tse, opinionated badass, Facebook group “Impeach the AMS President and VP External“

Confused yet?

  1. Elections for the new term of President are happening very soon. That’s what we’re here for. The nomination deadline is January 8, and there will be an All Candidates Meeting after in which we will find out who is running.
  2. This new term would officially begin after the Olympics extended reading week in February. However, there is a transition period which happens earlier for the incoming Executive to learn the ropes and how to be victorious/not an epic fail in the next year.
  3. Currently we have a President and a VP External who council tried to “impeach” but due to swanky legal terms within the Society Act, just had to censure.  This was a giant headache that made no one happy except, possibly, people who want us all just to get along.
  4. If this request for referendum gets 1000 signatures, it goes to Council tomorrow night.
  5. In a flurry of legal speak, Council will vote on two issues: a) to approve funding for Yes & No committees on the issue, and b) whether they wish to sponsor the Yes or No side.  Exciting stuff, considering the general Council attitude towards Blim before the break.  Have they cooled down, or will these lovely hands be forced to construct some form of monstrous Council-headed Rage Hulk?  (this is not necessarily a bad thing)
  6. You get to vote YES or NO for keeping Blim.
  7. If the referendum fails, Blim stay on through the Olympics and transition period
  8. If the referendum passes, an interim President/VP External will be appointed until the new term of the new Executive.
  9. There will still be an election Jan 25-29 in which we will have a new Executive, including yet (potentially) another new President and VP External.

Hopefully that makes a bit more sense.

You can sign the request for a referendum in the AUS offices (BUCH D140) all day today. They need 1000 signatures by WEDS for the impeachment to go forward! The organizers also need volunteers to help sort the signatures for the upcoming Council meeting. If you have any questions or would like to volunteer, feel free to contact Matt Naylor (naylorm@interchange.ubc.ca)

Rehashing Old News

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To combat the brain drain that occurs over winter break, here’s a quick recap of what’s affecting elections this term: namely, the United Nations Tuition Debacle.

The United Nations visited the Knoll

I’m sorry,  let me repeat that: the UN DEBACLE!!!!

Quick summary: is tuition a human rights issue worthy of the UN?  Blake & Tim and their legal counsel think so, and they’re willing to secretly spend $$$ on it.  Oh, it was all just a media stunt? The campus is safe from  Too late—we’re still on Failblog.  (The Ubyssey has a whole UN category if you’re a total keener.)

—so anyway, the wake of the biggest thing to happen to AMS politics since Slategate ’09 saw student leadership divided into two factions: Blake & Tim supporters, who believe Council are a bunch of groupthinking overreactors and that involving students in the tuition discussion is worth breaking a few rules, VERSUS Blake & Tim detractors (i.e. most of Council), who are generally displeased with the maverick turn Blim have taken.  Also, they’re not too happy about said broken rules, especially the ones where they demand to be consulted about large expenses. Not to mention Blim had a secret rendezvous with an expensive lawyer and didn’t invite Council along.

In an emergency meeting in which Blim did not appear (those NDP conventions throw serious parties), AMS Council unanimously passed a motion to retract the complaint to the UN against the BC and Canadian governments in regard to Article 13(c) of the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights. Basically, they showed them who’s boss.

I’m suddenly confused at this methodology that everything has to go through committee.
-President Blake

Thus, when we last left our esteemed student leaders, everybody was all het up.  In lieu of legal advice which said that removal from office was not an option*, Team Blim had been censured (note existence of previous attempts to do so) and, in addition:

  • asked to keep exhaustive records of their activities (aka hourly reports)—Blake, that bastion of transparency, puts his on Twitter.
  • effectively stripped of their decision-making abilities

And, of course, Geoff Costeloe, outspoken Blim detractor & vanity URL holder, had become one of the most polarizing men on campus (see also: Matt Naylor), judging by pure undiluted blogosphere commentary.

So what’s to be expected from this round of elections?  Without knowing who’ll run, we can predict platforms in the following non-exclusive categories:

  1. People who claim to represent some form of “new politics,” or “fresh thinking,” be that more or less radical
  2. People who are 100% committed to lowering tuition (but…)
  3. People who aren’t here to discuss Blake & Tim, goddamnit
  4. People who are not, in fact people. See: Kommander Keg

Either way, it’s going to be an exciting month plus, folks.

* Unless, of course, there was a referendum.