To: Aran Chang, ENGL 301 Writing Team Member
From: Cathy Liu, ENGL 301 Writing Team Member
Date: June 10, 2020
Subject: Peer Review of Definitions Assignment
Hi Aran,
I have read over your definition of deixis and appreciated how well written and thought out it was. Thank you for the effort you put into this assignment. You have chosen an interesting term that is both unique to your studies and one that is likely unfamiliar to a general audience. Your sentences are clear and concise and do not give any irrelevant information that would confuse the reader. It is evident that you have a good understanding of this term. As your team member, I would like to provide some suggestions that could help you with your revisions.
Organization
The structure of your writing is well organized in this assignment. Each section has a bold title which makes it easy to find what you are looking for. Your introduction is helpful in explaining to the reader what the situation is and gives a clear overview of the assignment. In the expanded definitions section, your definitions are read in a thoughtful order with the etymology first and the examples last. To improve the organization, I believe it would be helpful to have personal deixis, place deixis, and time deixis written as points underneath the section, Analysis of Parts, instead of appearing separately.
Visuals
Under the criteria of Assignment 1-3, it called for an inclusion of at least one visual. If you can find a visual appropriate for this term, I believe it is required unless arrangements have been made with the professor.
Jargon
The overall use of language in this assignment is simple and easy to understand. One sentence I wish to point out is under Negation: “which interlocutors consciously or subconsciously interpret as they listen in a conversation.” I think that perhaps a term other than ‘interlocutor’ would be easier to understand for a general audience.
Comprehension
I think that while your definition of the word’s etymology is concise, it could be a bit clearer when you state that “the principle of deixis is ‘to show’ something…” The use of the word ‘something’ makes the sentence seem vague despite your clarifications that it refers to a time, place, or situation. My suggestion is to remove ‘something’ altogether. The sentence could become: “Likewise, the principle of deixis is ‘to show’ the time, place, or situation that an individual is referring to.” An additional note, there is a mistake at the end of the sentence, “whether that may or time, place or situation,” as I believe you meant to write be instead of or.
In your definition of place deixis, your sentence reads: “words such as there, and there are often…” I believe you meant to write another word instead of using there twice.
Aside from my note on the etymology definition, the rest of your definitions are effective.
Final Comments
I hope that my suggestions for you will prove to be helpful during your revisions. If you have any questions about the changes I have proposed, feel free to reach out to me. The peer editing that I have done show only minor mistakes as your overall assignment was well done. I look forward to reading your final revised definitions.
Link to Aran’s definitions: https://blogs.ubc.ca/engl301-98a-2020sa/2020/06/02/assignment-1-3-definitions/
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