Peer Review for Esteban: Writing with You Attitude

To:              Esteban Margaron, English 301 Student Writer

From:        Christina Hruby, English 301 Student Reviewer

Date:          July 21, 2020

Subject:     Peer Review of Writing with You Attitude and Memo to Evan Crisp

Thank you for submitting the memo to Evan Crisp outlining the proper use of the You Attitude when writing emails to professors. It was a very well written document and an enjoyable read. Here are some suggestions that may be useful in making it even stronger.

First Impressions: A very constructive and polite assessment of Evan Crisp’s email. The memo provided friendly advice on how to improve the request with professional, effective, and courteous writing.

Writing Style: Excellent use of the You Attitude. The tone of the document really conveys that the reader, Evan Crisp, is the most important person. A positive voice is maintained throughout, offering advice rather than criticism. The reader’s ego was protected. Condescension to the reader was avoided with diplomatic phrasing.

Language:

• The pronoun, you, was appropriately used in the introduction and conclusion, but it should be omitted in the body whenever possible. For example:
  • Signing with your full name and contact information ensures the professor can identify you…
    • An alternative might be: Signing off with a full name and contact information ensures that the professor will be able to identify the student.
  • Adding more positivity could help your professor sympathize with your cause…
    • An altenative might be: Adding more positivity could help the professor sympathize and show more leniency in granting a request…
• Just one use of the imperative tense occurred in the body:
  • Consider approaching the situation from the professor’s perspective…
    • An alternative might be: Approaching the situation from the professor’s perspective by including a phrase indicating …

Grammar: The document was well edited. No grammatical errors were present. One recommendation would be not to contract here is, to here’s, in the introduction of the memo. The full form provides a more professional tone.

Content: Very useful suggestions were offered in the body of the memo. Attention to formatting, tone, grammar, and etiquette were all included providing a very complete and well-rounded document.

Organization:

• Good use of bold to emphasize main points.
• Bullet points kept the document neat and readable.
• A couple of minor errors in the set-up of the document were present. The template for memos, on page 328 of the textbook indicates that:
  • Memorandum (at the top of the document) is usually in caps and bolded
  • The specifications in the heading line (To, From, Date, Subject) are usually aligned after the colon.

Concluding Comments: The document was very pleasant and captured a spirit of helpfulness. No grammatical or typographical errors were present and the advice provided was both thorough and thoughtful, showing great attention to detail. Success was achieved  in applying the you attitude and in instructing the reader on how to do so as well. With the following small adjustments, this document will be even better:

• removal of the of the pronoun, you, from the body of the the document
• removal of the one instance of an imperative from the body
• correction of minor formatting errors

Thank you and please feel free to ask any questions, it has been a pleasure reviewing this work.

Memorandum for Evan Crisp