To: Siddhartha Gupta
From: Geneviève Bolduc
Date: July 22, 2020
Subject: Review of Writing With You Attitude
I have reviewed the memo exchange to Evan Crisp. You outlined many important points and have laid the groundwork for Evan’s prospective communication improvements. Here is a list of recommendations to build on your good work.
TITLE: It is common practice for memorandums to have titles. It is possible that the post title was meant to be the memorandum title in this instance. If this is the case, it is also worth ensuring that the name of the recipient is spelled correctly.
USE OF “YOUR”: It is common practice to avoid the use of the pronoun “your” in the body of memos. This is done to avoid attributing blame and irritating the reader. Revising such instances will change the tone for a more positive interaction.
COMPLETE SENTENCES: Ensuring sentences have a subject-verb structure will facilitate the flow of the information. The instances “Such as saying ‘thank you for your time’” and “Helping the professor empathize with your needs” would be better integrated into the sentences that precede them, or reiterated to follow a classic sentence structure.
CONTENT: The content of the exchange was clear and helpful. It demonstrated concise feedback and did a great job addressing the weaknesses of the original email. One point that was particularly important was the mention of leaving the student’s name in the end of the email. It should also be emphasized that this would serve to distinguish between the many students a professor interacts with.
CONCLUSION: Including a conclusion in the memo can serve many purposes. It is a good opportunity to connect with the recipient and summarize the positive content. It also can provide an opening for future correspondence. Finishing on such a positive note, rather than a specific piece of feedback, will strengthen the quality of the memo.
Overall, the fixes for the memo are very minor. The memo was well organized and communicated clear points of improvements in a positive manner. I hope my recommendations above will help improve any future communications. Do not hesitate to contact me for any clarification.