Peer review of “Formal Draft Report” for Di Fei Su

Review of Formal Draft Report: Enhancing Remote Working Experience for Google Software Engineers

Thank you for submitting the formal draft report: Enhancing Remote Working Experience for Google Software Engineers. It was an informative and enjoyable read. Strengths of the report include proper front page, detailed and concise abstract, as well as attractive visuals. Revision of the layout to improve readability and filtering the content would improve the final draft. Please consider the following feedback during revision :

First Impressions: The subject matter for this inquiry could be more well researched, although a compete reference page is not required for this draft, a reference page is needed, as well as an in-text citation. Adding more details to the “Situation” section as well as the “ problem” section would improve the final draft. Some core elements of the assignment are presented as well as figures displaying survey data analysis. The writing conveys that the author is confident about the topic.

Organization :

*Table of Contents is inaccurate (perhaps due to technical issues, the report’s abstract is in-between the Table of Contents )

• There is a logical flow to the explanation
• Formatting of page numbers is missing
• Deleting the unnecessary white space (as they occupy almost half of the page)  between each main section will make the report more readable.

Content: The report contains valuable information and currently contains 18 pages. Instructions for the assignment stipulated a document approximately 12 to 15 pages in length. Selecting the most important figures and add more analysis of the data may assist in improving the final report.

1. Introduction :

• An interesting background of the author shows the author has confident about the subject. The intention of the introduction is to provide a brief background for the situation, more detailing speaking, the background section should be linked to the “ Situation” section, what is the background of the “ Situation”. Putting the author’s credentials in a different place will make the report more readable.
• Using the following steps to guide the structure of the introduction may help with streamlining 

      1. Using background research which informs the readers about the “Situation”

      2.  Identifying  the topic’s origin and significance

      3. Describing  the problem

      4. Proposing the solution

      4. Defining the report’s purpose

      

2. Methods :

   *Good description of research methods, however, the description was situated in the introduction paragraph and should be situated in a different place.

     * Good description of the research participant, giving more details about the participants will show a strong understanding of proper research techniques.

3. Data Section:    

• Throughout the description of demographics was provided.
• Situating the tables and figures directly in the data section helps to improve the readability of the report, saves readers’ the time and energy to flip back and forth between pages.

* Adding an impartial analysis including the limitations of the data could improve the data section.

4. Conclusion:

• Summary of findings: describing the previous research findings briefly can show these research’s findings persist throughout the report
• Elaborating  “ limitations and side effects of lockdown” may improve the conclusion part.
• Adding recommendations for the proposed problem can clarify the purpose of this report.
• Avoiding ambiguous words such as “some solution proposal”, using detailed but concise examples of solution proposals may be more informative.

Visuals/ Figures

• The charts are colorful, with very good use of colour scheme. Blue is the appropriate color for formal reports, attracts the readers but not distracting them. Well done!
• Labeling each figure with “ Figure + Number” will help readers understand the data analysis section.
• Increasing white space between figures will allow for easy reading.

Reference:  Missing the reference could indicate that the report has not used any secondary sources. Adding references as well as in-text citations can make the report more formal, and it is always a good thing to have other scholars’ findings to support one’s work.

Style/ Tone :

• The document used a calm and friendly tone.
• The appropriate “ you” attitude was employed.
• Avoiding passive tones when describing the data could be beneficial to the report.

Grammar and typos :

• To improve the grammar and eliminate typos try :

1. Looking out for the differences between “ it’s” and “its”
2. Paying attention to past tense and present tense and past perfect tense (eg., in conclusion, because the experiment has finished, using past tense would be more appropriate, as the data section used past tense throughout).

Concluding Statement: This report thoroughly investigates important information in regards to Goggle’s system and illustrates the technical difficulties while working at home. With the following adjustments, the document will be even stronger:

• Formatting the “ The Table of Content” properly and adding the Table of Illustration
• Streamlining the content in the introduction paragraph
• Changing the content of the “background section”
• Increasing readability by eliminating unnecessary white space, embedding figures, charts, and table 1 in the data section; double-spacing the entire report and increasing the white space between paragraphs.
• Elaborating the recommendations
• Adding a reference page
• Using tenses carefully

It was a pleasure reviewing this report. I hope the suggestions are helpful in completing the revision. Please let me know by email :hangweib@gmail.com;  if you have any questions or need any clarification.

Thank you.