TO: Max Foran, ENGL 301 Student
FROM: Eva Ruiz, ENGL 301 Student, Reviewer
DATE: August 7th 2020
SUBJECT: Peer Review of Feasibility Analysis of a CIBC Wood Gundy Transition to a Remote Workforce
Thank you for submitting your report on the Feasibility Analysis of a CIBC Wood Gundy Transition to a Remote Workforce. Below is a comprehensive review of the work submitted. Consider reviewing the example formal report in the textbook or those of your fellow scribes to help with formatting. Ensure that all sections of the paper are completed for the final report.
First Impressions:
The report holds the promise of a good final draft though all the sections need to be filled in before the final report can be submitted. It focuses on the very relevant topic of employees working from home as well as their sentiments regarding such a transition. The report also provides a compelling reason as to why, specifically CIBC, would make this a permanent switch to working from home due to high real estate prices.
Content:
- Report is below the target length (12-15 page)
- Correct formatting was followed for the cover page.
- Abstract
- Contains a brief overview of what the report will assess. Consider adding the final recommendation in the abstract as well.
- Introduction
- Clearly states the transition to “at home work” due to covid and the changing workspace of the 21st century.
- Each section smoothly transitions to the next while explaining the problem and the purpose of the report.
- Clearly Identifies the specific company, CIBC, for the workers willing to work from home and the benefits of such an operation.
- Concise summary of where primary and secondary data will be collected from.
- Data Section
- Contains clear graphics containing labels and colors to help the audience understand.
- Indicates the number of responses and the statement that the sample is responding to.
- These statements/questions are well thought out and within the guidelines for questioning. (i.e. not leading)
- Addition of what the data means to offer an analysis.
- Discussion
- Areas of this section need to be filled in.
- Reviewing the Table of contents break down of this section, all gaps of information should be filled in.
- Ensure that secondary sources have a section to discuss them further than was what was said in the introduction.
- Conclusion and References
- These areas are still awaiting completion.
- Referring to the table of contents each section of the conclusion should be present upon completion.
Organization:
- Each section of the paper, as presented so far, ties in well with the purpose and flow of the paper.
- Ensure completion of all other sections of the paper.
- Data section, discussion, conclusion, and references.
- Effective transitions are present in the paragraphs presented so far.
Style:
- Tone appears positive throughout all sections.
- The report is presented in an objective manner
- “You” attitude is present in the sections present
- Ensure it is employed when writing the recommendation section of the proposal.
- Re-read outloud to ensure sentences flow smoothly and thoughts are presented clearly.
Design:
- Graphics are well designed with correct and effective labeling
- Contains percentages
- Color code each of the responses
- A graphic is presented for each of the survey questions
- Ensure that all headings are centered
- All headings and subheadings are clear and help breakdown the components of the proposal.
- Consider Feasibility Analysis for CIBC’s Remote Workforce as a running head
- Addition of page numbers to the heading
- Addition of page numbers to correspond with each section of the paper in the outline.
- Addition of indentations at the beginning of each paragraph
- Correct spacing, font size, and bolding are used throughout the paper.
Grammar and Spelling:
- “In the early months of 2020, hundreds of thousands of employees across the world were transitioned from working at the office to working in their homes as world governments tried to control a global virus.”-Abstract
- Consider deleting “were” to help read smoothly.
- “Boomer generation” -Introduction
- Provide years instead to maintain a professional tone.
- “positives and benefits of such an operation.” -Introduction
- Change to “positives of such an operation” to avoid redundancy.
- ““change.” (Gallup, 1)” -Introduction
- Move punctuation to after the citation.
- Reread this sentence to ensure a smooth transition for the quote.
Concluding Statement:
This report has promise for a good final report and presentation to the CIBC branch about their employees sentiments for moving to the “home office.” Ensuring that the rest of the report is completed in a professional manner with conscientious editing it would be appropriate to be presented to the audience mentioned in the title page. Below is a summary of the suggestions to help complete the final report proposal.
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- Adding page numbers in heading.
- Adding corresponding page numbers to the table of contents.
- Centering each heading of the paper.
- Indenting the beginning of each paragraph.
- Reread and read aloud to assist with the clarity of the paper.
- Consider deleting “were” from “were transitioned from working” in abstract
- Provide years instead of “Boomer generation” to maintain a professional tone in introduction (4).
- Change to “positives of such an operation” instead of “positives and benefits of such an operation” to avoid redundancy (Introduction, 5).
- Move punctuation to after the citation (Introduction, 6).
- “(Gallup, 1).”
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- Filling in the rest of the paper
- Data section Analysis
- Discussion
- Adding a section for discussing the secondary sources introduced in the introduction.
- Conclusion
- References
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I hope that you find the suggestions helpful in completing the final formal report. Please reach out to me at evabelen1100@gmail.com if you have any further questions regarding the review.
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