Cathy Liu Job Application Package Peer – Glen Kavaliunas

TO:                      Cathy Liu

FROM:               Glen Kavaliunas

DATE:                 August 12, 2020

SUBJECT:           Review of Job Application Package

 

Dear Cathy,

I hope this email finds you well and that you are finding success with the last couple of assignments in English 301. Thank you for submitting your application package for the position of content editor at Essentia Modern Essentials Inc. It is well laid out and has strong potential. Strengths of the document include good formatting and organization of information, relating to your reader by making connections where possible, pointing out how your experience and education meet the job requirements, and displaying confidence throughout. Some grammatical revisions, and attention to assignment requirements will improve your final draft. Please consider the following suggestions:

 

First Impression: The application package is well developed. Transferable skills listed on your resume support your qualifications with no directly relatable work experience in a similar position.

 

1.Job advertisement

• Job advertisement selected is suitable and a good match to the applicant’s education and interests.
• MLA format citation for source of job advertisement is present and correct in memo. Consider adding it to the bottom of the job advertisement page.

 

2. Application letter

• Letter is the correct lengths of one page maximum.

Format: your address, date, salutation, and closing are all present and appropriate.

• • Adding a signature may help the document appear more professional.
  • Follow the salutation with a colon.
  • Is there a specific position or job title you can add for Brenda? This shows you have researched the company and displays your professionalism.
  • If possible, consider finding the address for the company and adding it to the recipient’s address also shows you have researched the company.
• Writer identifies self and purpose in the first paragraph.
• Is it possible to establishes a connection with the prospective employer?
• Great work relating computer science qualification from resume to the job opening request for an “interest in technology”. This also showed a connection between your relevant personal interests and the job.
• Follow-up is made easier for the reader by listing email and phone number in the last paragraph.
• Resume is included as an enclosure. Is there an online version? PDF version?

Grammar: Please consider the following grammatical revisions to your application letter:

• Second paragraph, second line – awkward sentence – consider revision

“From my time working, I have gained valuable skills that helped me improve individually and with a group”

From my time working, I have gained valuable skills that helped me improve individually and with group work.

• Second paragraph, fourth sentence

“One of your qualifications stated that it would be beneficial for a candidate is having an interest and experience in technology.”

One the qualifications stated in the posting is that it would be beneficial for a candidate to have an interest and experience in technology.

 

3. Resume: Reverse Chronological

Format:

• • Resume meets the requirement of being a maximum two pages. Adjusting the page break to ensure the job duties stay with the associated job would improve readability.
  • The resume is mainly easy to scan. Font and format are simple, but color text may pose an issue. Consider using black and white, especially for your name at the top of the document.
  • The textbook suggests using a P.O. Box rather than street address to hide private details. This is a personal choice.
  • Using the order of headings form the textbook allows the reader to see right away that your education makes you a qualified applicant.

Contact information: Included but smaller than the rest of the font in the resume. Making it larger so that it stands out would make it easier for the reader to identify and to contact you. There is space to do so.

Career Objective: This section is missing. Adding it gives the prospective employer a way to quickly see if your objective matches the position they are hiring for and their company goals.

Education: Why is this listed last? This prove you are qualified for the job. Putting this information first points out your qualification sooner to the prospective employer.

Work Experience: Work and volunteer experience are listed in reverse chronological format. Good detail of responsibilities/tasks in each position.

Personal Data and Interests: This section is labelled transferable skills and is relevant to the job posting.

• • Do they need to be listed first?
  • Are they the most important piece of information?

References: – Listed.

• • Are the references okay with being listed with personal contact information online?
  • If reference letters have just been requested, the references should not be listed on your resume.

Grammar:

• • In the section Work Experience under the Lotto! Booth job
    • “id” should be capitalized and have periods between the letters.
  • Under the section Volunteer Experience – Goodness in Humanity class project
    • Is “NightShift” a specific organization – maybe make it italics.

Online:

• • • Do you have an online resume?
    • Resume in PDF form?

The assignment direction specified these formats.

 

Letters Requesting Reference Letter

General/Common to all Three Letters:

Format: Correct letter format is used.

• • Addressing the recipient in a more formal manner sets the tone for the kind of reference letter you would like. (Use last name instead of first name in the salutation.) Done well in letter three.
  • Signature is missing. Creating a digital signature may come in handy in your job search and the future.

Content:

• • Good job identifying yourself and why you are writing.
  • Made a strong connection to the reader.
  • Giving a time frame for when the letter is needed will help the person know if they can give you a reference in time for your application.
  • Email is included in last paragraph for easy follow-up. Putting phone number in as well could help if they have questions (after your name in the closing or with your address at the top)

 

Specific to Letter One

Grammar:

• Paragraph one, third sentence

“I am graduating this coming year and have been looking to apply to job postings.”

I am graduating this coming year and have been applying to job postings.

 

• Paragraph one, sentence four – Consider reducing wordiness

“I am currently trying to apply to become a content editor at Essentia Modern Essentials Inc.”

I am currently applying to become a content editor at Essentia Modern Essentials Inc.

 

Specific to Letter Two

Grammar:

• Paragraph two, sentence one – List name of Café instead of just café
• Paragraph one, third sentence

“I am graduating this coming year and have been looking to apply to job postings.”

I am graduating this coming year and have been applying to job postings.

• Paragraph one, sentence four

“I am currently trying to apply to become a content editor at Essentia Modern Essentials Inc.”

I am currently applying to become a content editor at Essentia Modern Essentials Inc.

 

Specific to Letter Three – This is the strongest reference request letter.

Content:

• • Being specific about the skills you learned working in an office setting provides to prospective employer with details, so they are not left with questions.

Grammar:

• • Second paragraph – first line – grammatically incorrect

“Working at Two Pillars, it provided me with the experience to work in an office setting.”

Working at Two Pillars provided me with experience working in an office setting.

 

Great work on your application package Cathy. With a few revisions you will have a very string application package. To recap, below are the suggested revisions:

Job Advertisement:

• Consider adding MLA citation it to the bottom of the job advertisement page.

Application Letter:

• Adding a signature may help the document appear more professional.
• Follow the salutation with a colon.
• Is there a specific position or job title you can add for Brenda? This shows you have researched the company and displays your professionalism.
• If possible, consider finding the address for the company and adding it to the recipient’s address also shows you have researched the company.
• Grammar revisions

Resume:

• Adjusting the page break to ensure the job duties stay with the associated job would improve readability.
• Making contact information larger so that it stands out would make it easier for the reader to identify and to contact you. There is space to do so.
• Consider adding “Career Objective” section. Adding it gives the prospective employer a way to quickly see if your objective matches the position they are hiring for and their company goals.
• Consider listing education before work experience and transferable skills. Putting this information first points out your qualification sooner to the prospective employer.
• Are the references okay with being listed with personal contact information online?
• If reference letters have just been requested, the references should not be listed on your resume.
• Grammar revision

Letters Requesting Reference Letters

• Addressing the recipient in a more formal manner sets the tone for the kind of reference letter you would like. (Use last name instead of first name in the salutation.) Done well in letter three.
• Signature is missing. Creating a digital signature may come in handy in your job search and the future.
• Giving a time frame for when the letter is needed will help the person know if they can give you a reference in time for your application and helps ensure you will have it in time for your application.
• Putting a phone number to be contacted at could help if they have questions (after your name in the closing or with your address at the top).
• Grammar revisions

Letter Three –

• Being specific about the skills you learned working in an office setting provides to prospective employer with details, so they are not left with questions.

 

Best wishes for your application process Cathy. If you have any questions or need clarification, please contact me.

 

Glen

 

Link to Cathy Liu’s job application package