Peer-Review Application Package Draft for Jie Su

To: Jie Su, ENGL 301 Technical Writing Student

From: Sydney Storie, ENGL 301 Technical Writing Student

Date: August 14, 2020

Subject: Peer-Review of Application Package

Your peer-review for ‘4.1 Application Package Draft- Jie Su’ is completed, your review includes overall impressions and recommendations for your application package.

First Impressions

Your application package is well-organized including the necessary documents needed to have a clear background and understanding of your previous work experience and expectations. You have confidently outlined the necessary skills and experience required for the job posting you have enclosed. Overall, your application package is strong, detailed, and informative. Below are suggestions that can enhance your report.

Content

• Job advertisement:
  • Job qualifications match your expertise.
  • The job posting is accompanied by appropriate MLA citation.
• Cover letter:
  • Providing strong technical writing skills and expressing your confidence allows your letter to stand out.
  • Elaborating on your skills regarding Javascript allows the employer to acknowledge your work experience.
  • Expressing team leadership is a strong qualification and you consistently provided previous experiences where leadership was upheld.
  • Adding a signature at the end of your letter enhances professionalism.
• Resume:
  • The resume is formatted appropriately, fitting onto one page without being crowded.
  • Expressing your skills and work experience is in great detail throughout.
  • Providing dates for each work experience, education period, and volunteer experience was effectively used providing clarity.
  • Including an objective and reference section allows for professionalism, clarity, and proper inclusions as required in the textbook.
• Letters of Request:
  • A professional positive tone is used throughout each letter emphasizing YOU-attitude.
  • Enclosing a resume at the end of your letter makes it easier for your writer when referring to your skills and qualifications.
  • Stating a completion deadline allows you to receive the letter within the time frame required and notifies your writer with a sense of urgency.
  • Including a signature at the bottom of the letter provides professionalism.

Organization

• Bolding appropriate headings emphasized significance.
• The layout of each document was well-organized, allowing for easy flow.
• Bulleting the points provided neatness.
• Documents are in the appropriate order making it easier to understand the background of the applicant.
• Formatting was correctly used in each of the documents.

Style

• Appropriate use of YOU-attitude throughout your letters of request.
• Clear use of a professional and respectful tone throughout all documents.

Grammar

• Cover letter:
  • Revising the following allows for coherence between the textbook formatting and your cover letter.
    • Original: Dear Ms. Sarah,
      • Revision: Dear Ms. Sarah:
  • Correcting the following sentences reduces grammatical errors.
    • Original: I found my passion and strong strengths in optimizing performance of products,
      • Revisions: I found my passion and strong strengths in optimizing the performance of products,
    • Original: Guiding the team to pace on the right direction and motivating colleagues as a team lead.
      • Revision: Guiding the team to pace in the right direction and motivating colleagues as a team lead.
    • Original: I am able to constantly delivery results with high standard and keep my team morale high.
      • Revision: I can constantly deliver results with high standards and keep my team morale high.
    • Original: On my next role,
      • Revision: In my next role,
    • Original: Please let me know if you are interested on me and would like to discuss the next steps in the hiring process.
      • Revision: Please let me know if you are interested in me and would like to discuss the next steps in the hiring process.
• Resume:
  • • Original: Designed object-oriented and workflow-oriented procedure using Java.
      • Revision: Designed object-oriented and workflow-oriented procedures using Java.
    • Original: Participated agile stand up meetings and use JIRA to trace daily progress and delivery histories.
      • Revision: Participated in agile stand up meetings and use JIRA to trace daily progress and delivery histories.
• Letters of Request:
  • • Original: I hope everything is well for you and your family.
      • Revision: I hope everything is well with you and your family.
    • Original: Part of the process is to provide reference letter and I would be honored if you would write a reference for me.
      • Revision: Part of the process is to provide a reference letter and I would be honoured if you would write a reference for me.
    • Original: I really enjoyed the time working with you and thank you for your valuable suggestion in my work .
      • Revision: I really enjoyed the time working with you and thank you for your valuable suggestion in my

Concluding comments

Your application package provided a strong background in your work experience, technical writing skills, and educational milestones. Throughout your application package, you provided a professional respectful tone while emphasizing YOU-attitude wherever possible. In reviewing your application package, the above recommendations can enhance your application. If you have any questions regarding the above recommendations, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Thank you.

Jie Su Application Package Draft