Date: August 6, 2020
Peer Reviewer: Jiajie Xu
Author: Zainab Rauf Tramboo
Document under review: Methods To Increase Student Voter Turnout For UBC AMS General Elections
Hello Zainab,
Another impressive posting on our team forum for the assignment. Thanks for the effort. The peer review for your draft report “Methods To Increase Student Voter Turnout For UBC AMS General Elections” is completed and ready for your revision. The draft demonstrates an outstanding work on data interpretation and analysis. As well as giving valuable suggestion and clear direction to the reader to take further action. The draft acts as a solid foundation for develop. Some points of view can be expanded, and the structure can be further organized in the revision. Detailed reviewed information and suggestions are posted as follow:
First impression
The report expresses in a very straightforward way on targeting the major issue to the reader. And contain a clear strategy and direction on providing solutions. Data selections and discussions are concise and easy to read and understand. The body of the report is well written in a professional tone with employing YOU attitude.
Organization
The entire report contains and fully covers all required sections. Each section is clearly organized with effective head. For the final revision, some aspects can be improved:
- Managing the table of contents by utilizing the “Table of Contents” function provided by Word would make it better organized.
- Avoiding big chunks of text in some parts of the report. Mostly in the section of Introduction.
- Emphasizing heads and sub-headings with effective design to attract readers’ attentions.
Content
Contents are well arranged both in the broad view of the report and detailed in each section. The main body text provides effective information in a highly concise form. This gives the most essential information and makes them easy to read as it will save the reader’s time. Each section is being discussed in detail as follow:
1. Abstract
The abstract section clearly provides an executive summary of the report to the reader. It provides context information from defining the main problems and describing the solution.
2. Introduction
The introduction gives sufficient of background information to support the main idea of report and establishes the strategy through the context. However, the structure can be better organized by:
- Using sub-headings to separate the big chunk of text in sections.
3. Data Selection
Data are well collected and displayed. Discussions are effectively sorted by sub-headings with information strongly related to each central theme reflected to sub-headings. To better reveal the information by figures, try:
- Applying a more general figure title which is able to reflect to the main purpose of the data displayed on the figure.
- Displaying the percentage data on the pie chart would give the reader a more intuitive understanding to the research result.
- Discussing the data in further detail comparison would discover some new hints for the solutions.
4. Conclusion
Information are well-organized by sub-headings and arranged in a logical sequence. Each section provides effective information and tightly linked together.
Style
The tone through the context of the report is generally objective and positive. The YOU attitude has been well-reflected and makes the entire article comfortable and smooth to read. To better formatting the report, the following is suggested:
- Applying double-space to the line spacing through the entire context.
Grammar
No significant grammar error is being identified. The following sentence can be improved:
- “Student leaders running for elections are also able to say their speeches before or after lectures if professors.” This sentence seems to be incomplete and can be rewritten as “Student leaders running for elections are also able to say their speeches before or after lectures with the permission from professors.”
Design
The overall design of the report is concise and clearly emphasize the core information.
Concluding statements
The draft report demonstrates an excellent work on preparing the revision for the final report. It contains sufficient effective information in a professional tone. All sections are generally well-organized. The main suggestions for improvement are listing as follow:
- Managing the table of contents
- Avoiding big chunks of text
- Using sub-headings to arrange messages in sections
- Emphasizing the sub-headings
- Adjusting figures
- Developing the discussion in further
- Double checking the grammar
The draft is outstanding, and I am looking forward to read your final report at the end of this course. Feel free to let me know if you need further discussion.
Thank you.
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