Formal Report Peer Review for Esteban

TO: Esteban Margaron, ENGL 301 Student

FROM: Max Foran, English 301 Student

DATE:  August 5^th 2020

SUBJECT: Peer Review

 

First Impressions:

 

The report is well-structured and easy to follow. It covers an interesting topic and provides relevant and well-thought out commentary.

 

Organization:

• The organization of the report is excellent, and each section follows naturally from the other
• Consider drawing more attention to your title-sections by underlining/bolding
• Additionally, consider keeping the same colour of font throughout the entire document

 

Content:

Introduction:

• The content of the introduction clearly introduces the issue at hand
  • A few spelling and grammar mistakes are found in the introduction section:
  • “Science Co-op program’s effort and goals”
  • Consider removing “for” in the first sentence of the purpose section
  • Consider removing personal pronouns throughout the introduction section as this will help the writing to be more effective (i.e., focus on the YOU attitude)
  • Good use of numbered points in the purpose section. This effectively communicates the goal of the report to the reader

Data Section:

• The graphs present response data related to the topic and the findings are interesting and informative
• Consider labelling all axis to avoid any confusion in the presentation of the data
• The writer effectively draws the reader’s attention to interesting findings within the data

Conclusion:

• Conclusion section is not yet completed
• However, the recommendation section is well thought out and provides actionable solutions to the problem discussed.

Visuals/Figures:

• The visuals used throughout the report are informative.

 

References: 

• Only one reference in the reference section that is correctly cited
• Consider changing the name from “Works Cited” to “References” to add a more professional feel

 

Style/Tone:

• The writing style of the report is professional and friendly
• The issue is effectively described to the intended audience without sounding condescending or rude
• Reducing the number of imperative verbs and personal pronouns within the introduction will improve the tone of the report
• The point of some sentences is difficult to follow because of the wordiness and structure. Furthermore, consider being more direct and assertive, that is, don’t be afraid to promote the solutions that are presented in the report. (Avoid words like could, might, potentially, etc.)
  • Example of a possible change in the data section below Fig. 8: Considering that job applications are managed by staff exclusively, such a system would enable Science Co-op to free up operating resources

 

Grammar/Typos: 

• There are a few grammar/typos found within the introduction section previously alluded to.

 

Concluding Statements: 

• The first draft of the report is well-written and covers an interesting topic
• Some sections of the report could be elaborated on, but some shortness is to be expected for the first draft
• The main suggestions are to improve tone and focus on “you” attitude
• The tone can be improved by limiting run-on sentences and by being more assertive in the arguments.
• The removal of personal pronouns will help to foster “you” attitude.

 

 

I hope you found this peer review helpful. I look forward to seeing the final product.