Tag Archives: brian platt

Srs Bsns: Bijan and AMS Councillors Can’t Be VFM

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Dearest readers who are normal students and not hacks: bear with us. This is going to get a little code intensive, but we’re SUPER FREAKING STOKED because this is our first lead that we’ve thought of, researched, and wrote all on our own!

Despite AMS Councillors being active in VFM the last few years (see Geoff’s Place, Radical Beer) and Brian Platt currently writing for UBC Vanguard while Crystal Hon is writing for UBC Insiders, AMS Code actually stipulates that they are not allowed to be compensated by the AMS, who supplies the money for Voter Funded Media.

Before owls start hooting and hollering, we’re not writing this to stir up shit about Brian Platt. Instead, Bijan has registered Bijan.ca as a Voter Funded Media for the Elections VFM.

  1. WTF, this is just stupid
  2. Bijan’s job is to COMMUNICATE WITH STUDENTS and be the PUBLIC FACE OF THE AMS.
  3. Seriously, you’re trying to make more money from student fees?
  4. He also hasn’t written ANYTHING ABOUT THE ELECTIONS.

so what, we already used this, our brains hurt.

However, AMS Code of Procedures says Bijan can’t get money from VFM.

Directors shall not receive monetary compensation from the Society unless such monetary compensation is received as a direct result of their positions:

i) as a Director;
ii) as an employee or paid volunteer of one of the Society’s business operations, Services, Resource Groups, programs or clubs, provided however that the Director was an employee or paid volunteer continuously in the Business, Service, Resource Group, Program or Club position prior to being nominated for the position of Director; or
iii) within one of the Society’s Constituencies.

Translation: People on AMS Council  can’t get paid for anything else that isn’t their job. They’re not allowed to pick up random catering shifts, or be a security guard (real life examples with councillors) because they are a Director of the Society. So why would getting paid for a VFM blog be any different?

Read on only if you want to get super hacky or are on AMS Council.

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Abandon Ship

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DOES NOT APPROVE

The AUS Phailboat is going dowwnnnn.

Yesterday, my beloved Arts Undergraduate Society selected an interm President. They picked someone who already lost in the previous election, and was essentially a sore loser. FML.

After I straggled in, got a slice of delicious pizza, and started to listen, turns out there were four nominees for the vacant President seat. Who were these four fine candidates? The lovely Cheryl Kornder, former SUB Queen Crystal Hon, Mr. “FUCK THE AUS/LET’S MAKE IT AWESOMER” Brian Platt, and eventual winner, Ryan “I’m so happy and easy to work with vote for me even though my speech was complete hogshit garbage” Trasolini.

After the first round of voting, Cheryl and Crystal were eliminated. Hmm… both start with the letter C. Both eliminated. Conspiracy? I think so. Conspiracy even starts with the same letter (WHOA MIND BLOWN). Better take this up with student court so they can analyze something completely different about the council meeting. Eliminating these two was the first mistake council made.

Second round, everyone voted again. Turned out to be 12-9 or 11-9 or something like that for Ryan. Or Brian. “WHAT? With a B or an R?” With an R. Ryan. Ryan won. Hokay. Agreed. D’accord.

all eyes on you. all two of 'em.

@ginohhh’s tweet pretty much sums up how I feel about the situation: “Congratulations to the AUS for achieving new heights of incompetence. I’m out.”

Seriously. Council… WTF? You went though a month or two of elections / agony / student court / useless banter / resignations /complaining … and you end up appointing the same cry baby which put you into this whole mess? Smart. Real fucking smart. Maybe I shouldn’t even bemoan council, seeing as though it was all proxies there. Yeah, let’s let Mike Silley vote, even though he was kinda/sorta involved in the elections clusterfuck. Great fucking idea. No Offense, Mike.

I don’t know what to rant about. That council appointed Ryan, or you didn’t pick other, much more qualified candidates that weren’t involved in the clusterfuck of an election. You should have appointed someone impartial. Someone removed from the previous debacle. Someone that could have gotten the AUS back on track. Someone who could have led the recovery, and bring the AUS back to what it used to be (some of us still remember the ACF days).

Dammit council, you failed. I guess whining enough does pay off.

A Procrastination Post! Your April News for N00bs

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Confidential is back, Koerner’s isn’t, and surprise, surprise the AUS is a shit show once again.

Brian vs Ryan vs Student “Court” vs Naylor vs OMG Enough Already

So the AUS is a goddamn nightmare. It all started with this document that makes no fucking sense and hurts our cute little headband decorated brains. As a fellow sexy blogger once said, “most of it is irrelevant shit amounting to intellectual masturbation.”

So, n00bs: Naylor was the AUS Elections Administrator and isn’t a fan of Student “Court” as referenced by “the rising scourge of kritarchy.” Student “Court” dislikes Naylor because…we’re not quite sure. Let the battles commence.

In the AUS Presidential election, Brian beat Ryan by one vote. Ryan filed an appeal to the SC over a single ballot that he thinks was ambiguous and should therefore be spoiled, meaning it wasn’t a tie, meaning Naylor’s tiebreaking vote wouldn’t count, and meaning that Ryan would be EL PRESIDENTE.

However, SC went all power thirsty like the Volturi and began to “investigate” the situation. They ramble about the background of the election, how paper ballots got fucked up, how the results apparently caught on fire, and concluded that in the end there was STILL A GODDAMN TIE (seriously, we’re not making this up).

However, what is really alarming (think black iris thirsty alarming) is how they then deem the election VOID AND OF NO EFFECT. SC was simply asked by Ryan to “rule” on the validity of a certain ballot. Instead, SC found that the way the AUS elections were run was in violation of AMS code because they lacked appeals procedures (yes, we actually looked up the code). They also made this ruling without looking at the AUS 2010 General Election Regulations which includes the appeals procedures.

Whatever, its now all a moot point because Brian resigned in a professional letter to AUS Council in which he signs it “peace out, dawgs.” Be still, our gangsta meme hearts.

More sparkles and #procrastireading after the jump!

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And you thought the last meme post was forced.

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Elections season is over, which, these days, means it’s time for recount/contest season! Rather than recount the Trasolini/Platt saga at great length, we’ll recap shortly, and then present the only result we care about: ACKBAR ACKBAR ACKBAR

So.

  1. Trasolini loses by one vote, cast by AUS EA Matt Naylor to break a tie.
  2. Trasolini writes open letter, claiming that ballots were miscounted (he has proof!!) & he should have won by two votes.
  3. Wahmbulance called.
  4. Recount reveals that Platt is still winner.
  5. ??????

Anyway, here’s a thought to cheer you up, Artsies. Sure, we’re starting the new elective year on a wonky note.  But there’s so much for us to anticipate! Yes, you, Foresighted Arts Voters, had the courage—the understanding—the bravery to elect Seannie C., a.k.a. ADMIRAL ACKBAR.  We here at the Confidential (okay, I here at the Confidential) are Huge Fucking Star Wars nerds, and we’re super-excited for the opportunity to spend an entire year doing variations on the trap meme.

When we haven’t had our caffeine:

tip your goddamn barista, kids, we're fucking starving

When we’re feeling just too old to keep up with you political whippersnappers:

tis not a woman true, but a half creature, neither fish nor foul

When shit’s about to get funky:

in west Coral City, born and raised / on the Calamarian Council is where I spent most of my days

WE’RE SO EXCITED!!! WE’RE SO EXCITED!! WE’RE SO SCARED

aus throwdown/showdown

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Gossip Guy here. Happy to see me? I know you are. I can practically see the smile on your face from wherever I’m currently sitting/stumbling.

Well, fellow Artsies… we have a lot of tough choices this year. We’ll have to pick Yes or No in four different races, one involving a Star Wars character (WIN). Three guys going for President, and two ladies and purple lightsaber-wielding Sammy J for VPX. Then a bunch of General Officers and AMS reps. But c’mon… let’s focus on what’s really important here (Not that they aren’t all important. Just some things take priority, k?). So yes… EL PRESIDENTE. How are we going to decide who to support this year? We’ll leave it to…

the crudely rendered semi-androgynous pink and black gambling addicted elections mascot

I now realize I spent all my bloody time making that stupid graphic, and didn’t write anything of substance. Make sure you read the contest at the end of the post, and actually enter, so I don’t end up crying alone tonight because I wasted so much time. [Kai sez: welcome to the Confidential Editorial board, GG. You’ll get used to it.]

We’ll do some in-depth analyses in the coming days – and be assured, we WILL penetrate into the inner recesses, unlike the EUS elections, which we know nothing about. Full candidate list and some useless links after the jump y’all. AND THE CONTEST.

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