Category Archives: News for Noobs

Bijan, Your Argument is Invalid

So, our little mission statement is “exposing the down and dirty of UBC politics.” While we certainly enjoy exposing the down (who’s single? who’s dating who?), it does pain us to expose the dirty politics. While the AMS has had it’s low points (the UN, Gaza) it hasn’t been all that petty (except for Lettergate). Until today, with the slanderous behaviour of the AMS’ President, Bijan Ahmadian with his latest bullshit video, specifically around the 4:24 mark. If you want to see how dirty politics is played out, you might want to check out Blackbox UBC’s bitchslapping of councillors.

He’s taken endorsements to the whole new level with a video not only disendorsing one of his current executives, but slandering him at the same time. He still has to work with Jeremy for a month. Not only is this embarrassing and disgraceful to the entire Alma Mater Society, Bijan is once again failing with public relations and using his status to discredit his executive.

At the end of the day, Bijan, you’re a “31 year old who has yet to graduate and has a talent show as your achievement,” and your argument is invalid.

*Full Disclosure: Kai, one of the founding editors of Confidential and currently a contributor of sparkly surveys galore, is dating Jeremy McElroy. She didn’t contribute anything to this post.*

Argument: “I led a campaign where 3200 students signed a petition in favour of rapid transit…and, consequently, they changed the regional growth strategy.”

Invalid! Elin actually had to take this project on with Jeremy. Also, 3200 signatures out of like, 46 000 students isn’t really that great, so I don’t know why anyone is wanting to claim this as their own anyway. While Metro Van made UBC and Surrey equal priorities, the person sitting beside me says that “everyone knows that’s bullshit and South Surrey will come out on top…it’s a waste of time.”

Argument: “It should have been the VP External Jeremy McElroy doing this work.”

Invalid! It was.

Argument: “He has told me that the AMS President’s role is to be the public opposition to the university”

Invalid! This is slander, I asked Jeremy if he said that and he assured me he didn’t. He also talked about working WITH the university at the debate tonight, so there’s that.

Argument: “We’ve had too many insiders in the AMS President’s office”

Invalid! While we think the nod to UBC Insiders, intentional or not, is hilarious, it’s actually ridiculous. Bijan ran on the basis that he’s been at UBC for 11 years or whatever in his election, and threw that around like it was the greatest thing to ever hit the AMS. To all of a sudden switch to thinking that it is essential for a “regular student” to be in the Presidents office is hypocritical.

Oh, and talking about how Mike Moll is SOOO COOL because he LIVED IN TOTEM, ran for things, and plays the SAXOPHONE. Well, Jeremy McElroy LIVED IN TOTEM and ran for things and plays the SAXOPHONE. Hilarious.

Basically, Bijan made a video endorsing all the people that he handpicked to run in the elections and threw it all under his glorious header as the 101st President of the AMS. Classy.

“University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.” – Henry Kissinger

Play nice, kids.

WTF is Condorcet?

This post may look to be boring. Election systems, you ask? How can those be at all fun? Well, dear reader, you are wrong. This is going to be the most epic post of your life and you are about to get SCHOOLED in so much politics that you will be able to impress your entire family next year at Christmas when they question what good a Canadian Studies/Art History/English degree will get you in life. Ahem.

AMS Council decided a few years ago to hold elections via Condorcet voting, instead of First Past the Post (FPTP- like how you vote in a government election). Due to UBC fucking over the AMS by underestimating how long it would take to implement a new elections system, AMS Council had this huge debate over FPTP vs Condorcet last night. UPDATE: Someone saved the day and now we’re now using Condorcet after all!

Below are our interpretations of the two systems and how it would work out in real life/pop culture land using Twilight and Glee. Yes, we fucking just did that.

First Past the Post aka Edward vs Jacob

The love triangle is abundant in pop culture, even if its usually culminated with the exact wrong couple getting together. Take Twilight for example. Team Jacob or Team Edward has divided giggly tweens around the world, and this is a perfect example of when first the past is a good system.

For some reason that we can’t quite understand, Bella is keen on Edward (ok, yes, the vampire sex scene in Breaking Dawn was quite amazing), the no-fun vampire who wants to get married and then isolate Bella from everyone she knows.

We think that Bella would have a lot more fun, and well, actually be ALIVE, if she was with Jacob. Plus, he’s hot. Like, super hot. Who would want to cuddle with an icecube when you can cuddle with a hot water bottle? Yeah, we thought so too.

no photoshop required.

So whether you’re Team Edward or Team Jacob, if the AMS Elections had a ballot asking you who Bella should choose, first past the post is fine. There’s only two choices, and whoever gets the most votes wins. This is like the race for VP Finance, although the candidates look too similar for us to deem one Jacob and the other Edward. It is also like the race for BoG (pick two) and Senate (pick five). Obviously, Sean Heisler is Jacob in this scenario (has anyone else noticed how buff he is?). [Editor’s Note: Sean Heisler got Chris Eaton from Enrolment Services on the phone in AMS Council at 10:30 AT NIGHT so he could talk to the EA about the elections system. For this, we deem him this year’s first Dreamboat. Re-elect him, he obviously uses his connections well. See below.]

Condorcet Method aka Rachel vs Jesse, Puck, and Finn:

The pop culture love rectangle is more of a complicated scenario, in which a girl who thinks she isn’t all that pretty (yet totally goes all wannabe-third wave feminist with Terry Richardson) has an endless supply of adorable men at her disposal. Unlike Edward and Jacob, fans are not as maniac (read: partisan) about who they prefer and learn to adapt to like the new love interest. And when they’re gone, well, you’re left with distant fond memories of a love that wasn’t really lost.

i'm a jesse man myself, and this moment in "hello" is possibly my favourite glee moment ever.

FPTP brings about more partisan candidates, while preferential balloting yields more centrist candidates. In Condorcet, you get to rank the candidates in order. Whoever is found to be the most likable candidate will win, and this is why joke candidates like Aaron Palm can beat Tim Chu. The candidate chosen is usually the one most people won’t complain about. If people are voting on issues (and since we don’t have slates, they are basically voting on issues), the candidate who has the more palatable stance will be favoured with Condorcet. For example, think of Puckleberry, Fichel, and St. Berry (really? REALLY?)

this was taken from a real fan forum. who says we don't do research?

For some voters, they may think that Rachel really really really needs to be with someone as talented as herself and would vote like this:

  1. Jesse
  2. Finn
  3. Puck

While others may think that anyone with a great talent will outshine her. They’d vote like this:

  1. Puck
  2. Finn
  3. Jesse

Another issue could be their religion. Some voters may think that Rachel really needs to mate with a Jew, and would prefer Puck. However, Finn has said he will raise Jewish babies and they’d rather see that than nothing:

  1. Puck
  2. Finn
  3. Jesse

Regarding stability, voters may just want to make sure someone stays on the show long enough to love her:

  1. Finn
  2. Puck/Jesse
  3. Jesse/Puck

And it goes on, and on. The extreme Puck lovers will vote for Puck and the extreme Jesse lovers will vote for Jesse and the normal Finn lovers will vote for Finn. But, let’s say that there are more Jews on campus who would prefer Rachel have Jewish babies.  In a FPTP system, let’s say the result was 43% for Puck vs 40% for Finn vs 17% for Jesse. Puck could win with the most votes, even though if you added Finn and Jesse’s number together, more people voted to NOT have Puck than those who did. FPTP doesn’t mean you need a MAJORITY of votes (51%) it just means you need the MOST votes (which in this case is 43%).So while Puck may win with FPTP, most students wouldn’t be happy with this decision, because 57% of them voted for Not Puck.

Using Condorcet, students are allowed to rank who they want Rachel to be with, and more students are happier. Looking at the issues and how they voted, Finn was a consistent second choice with both Puck and Jesse lovers. At the end of the day, we can all just agree that Finn is the best option because he can both sing and play sports, doesn’t outshine Rachel, will raise Jewish babies, and isn’t going to leave her.

This is like the VP External race. The Knollies will vote for Rory, the Greeks will vote for Katherine, and the Hacks will vote for Mitch. The winner will probably be Katherine or Mitch. They are both very similar and have a lot of experience, so it’s hard to differentiate between them. The second place votes from the Knollies, Frats, and other random students will probably seal the deal as to who wins this race. (UBC Insiders did a council poll and actually found there to be different results using Condorcet vs FPTP in only this race, watch for their post coming up). The VP Academic race is the same. Matt will get the Greeks, Jennifer will get the Knollies, and Justin will get everybody else. The winner will probably be determined by whoever gets the most second place votes.

Omar Chaaban Back in the Race

Omar Chaaban has been reinstated in the Presidential Race. Details will be coming soon as we get them, but it looks like the last nominator was indeed part of the theological colleges like our commentors were suspecting.

Update: The EA’s full explanation is here. Basically, it took a long time to figure shit out due to unpaid fees that were actually paid, etc. As UBC Insiders writes, “If there’s any clear winner in all of this, it’s bureaucracy.”

Liveblogging is Overated, Anyways @ CiTR Debates One

If you weren’t listening to CiTR 101.9 today or don’t read the Minimalist Owl Blog because it may/may not hurt your “Arts student” eyes , then you might have missed the first of many (and sometimes simultaneous) debates of this election. Well, do we have a treat for you!

Yeah, that's what I said, too

Yeah, that's what I said, too

Continue reading

Omar Disqualified from Presidential Race

Omar Chaaban has been disqualified from the AMS President race, by some random twist of fate that really, really sucks for him by having only 49 nominators instead of 50.

“It will not be revoked, I wouldn’t have disqualified him otherwise.” -Erik Mackinnon, Elections Administrator

In order to be nominated, you need 50 signatures. It is usually recommended that you get more than 50 in case some people lie to you/write ineligibly/be human, and that’s even allotted on the form. Omar got exactly 50 signatures, and two of them were, well, iffy.

Turns out that one of the numbers was deemed legible by enrolment services but that the other number nominator “was not currently a member of the Alma Mater Society of Vancouver.” Apparently the nominator is currently taking classes, but enrolment services is adamant they are not allowed to nominate/vote in the elections, so we don’t have exact details.

Sorry, Omar <3 To cheer you up, we give you this:

PS In a funny twist of fate, this editor’s student number was also “iffy”, but she was deemed eligible in the end.

Sorry, JMac and BCapp.

We here at AMS Confidential would like to express our sincerest apologies to Ben Cappellacci and Jeremy McElroy. You may remember the picture to the right, from a while back. At the time, we were quite critical about their brown, “old man blazers.” I know times are tough since Bijan’s idea for a clothing allowance was killed, but you guys need to call each other ahead and make sure you’re not wearing similar jackets on the same day. Faux pas!

Why are we sorry? Due to this monstrosity.

What would possess someone to buy such a jacket? This garment makes those brown old man blazers look… well, better. Now I’m really glad Bijan didn’t get that clothing allowance, because I wouldn’t want my student fees to be spent on garbage like this. The brown… the grey…  Yuck.

This picture (before the unicorn heart laser battle) was snagged from Bijan’s latest video blog, where we got to see his uninspired speech at the UBC Student Leadership Conference. I highly enjoyed the panning shots of the crowd where you can see people texting, along with other University staff not really paying attention. Using his finely honed conflict resolution skills, Bijan taught us it’s important to compromise in situations like signing lease agreements. O RLY?

[Editor’s Note: the SLC specifically mentioned that there was to be no photo or video taken in the Chan Centre, whoops!]

Errrrrbody is Blogging These Days

Sometimes there’s a certain person that was just made to be put in the (dim, pink hued) spotlight that is the AMS Confidential. Tom Dvorak was one such person, who was a constant source of amazingly witty, uncensored quotes.

Thanks, Ubyssey 2010.04.08

El Presidente Bijan is also one of those guys. It’s like every time he opens his mouth, there’s something we can write about here. Now, he’s stepped into our realm: blogging. It’s a cut-throat world in the blogosphere, and I don’t know if Bijan knows what he’s getting himself into. Why bother, anyways? It’s not like there’s any money in this blog world anymore (Thanks Erik Mackinnon!). To further it, he’s billing himself as king shit, err, “AMS Media Done Right.” Oh bish plz. Dems defs fightin’ words.

I’m not going to comment on the “scene” in his vlog where the girls start screaming at him, steal his scarf, then he promptly begins to run away. I understand this situation may be uncomfortable for some, but from my research the past couple years, girls don’t have cooties anymore, and won’t hurt us men.

Regardless of how he could totally take advantage of the blog world merely to associate with the awesome people that inhabit it, Bijan is doing this for himself. Although supporting campus media, he doesn’t feel like he’s always getting the whole story. He wants the details. So it’s better if he’s in his office, making unilateral decisions, then reporting on them to all of us plebes down in the hitherlands, while looking down upon us and spending our student fees from his corner office in his castle. Bijan knows what’s best, right? Right.

I loves me dem details.

Holy shit, we’re only a minute into dissecting this video. To summarize… blah blah blah talk talk talk the new SUB is happening all because of me because I took the leadership to finalize the agreements and if I didn’t the building wasn’t going to happen because talks had stalled for TWO RIDICULOUSLY LONG YEARS. Good job, Bijan, Take all the credit for all the hard work past execs had done. That referendum to pay for the new SUB? That was probably all you too. Pat on the back!

Bijan then likens himself and his Executive to Team fricken Canada. Well, Canada just gave up 5 goals to the Russians in the 3rd period of the World Junior Championship game, so I suppose we’re completely fucked as a student society. Then he talks about UBC’s Got Talent. Bah. You know how we feel about that. Thanks to our strong campus partnerships, tickets are free! Wow! Thanks Bijan! Maybe put those awesome partnership skills you have into use and get us some sponsors for Block Party, or other events people actually give a shit about.

My favourite part comes next, and I quote: “Stephen Toope gives very tender hugs, but that is all that I’m aware of.” It’s like he wrapped up the awkwardness of a grade 9 high school dance into one sentence. I don’t know what would compel any human being to say this about another person when their relationship is questioned. To me, this screams that YES, Bijan, you are too close to the administration. Now if you start reading the Financial Times with ZeeVP and wearing matching bow-ties with B-Sull, then we’d have an even bigger problem than this now annual deficit business.

People Who May or May Not Run

AMS Elections are currently a shitshow, and they haven’t even started yet.

  1. Nominations close on Friday and there is no AMS Elections website. Maybe if they advertised we wouldn’t have three slates of people who are always involved?
  2. There is no schedule of events anywhere…debates? Beer garden? Anything?
  3. There are also no elections dates or campaigning dates posted anywhere except on the Facebook page, which ~50 people like and hasn’t been updated since November (same with Twitter).
  4. There is no VFM funding right now and elections are about to start!

The Elections budget is approximately $50,000. Isn’t there a little referendum coming up that has to do with fiscal responsibility? We get that the EA is probably working on the new online voting system, but he has also hired four co-ordinators to help him, and it’s THREE DAYS before elections start.

Anyway, we are coping by giving you GOSSIP. Hot Gossip.

At the end of the day, candidates are supposed to be running individually and not as part of a slate (fancy way of saying political party). Except this year, there are Three Groups Who Are Not A Slate.

  1. The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl (Bijan’s picks to continue his legacy of UBC’s Got Talent)
  2. The Incumbents (the political hacks who think they can change the world with the AMS)
  3. The SJC/Knollies (the people who only care about the AMS when something pisses them off)

With that in mind, we give you the gossip!

The Frat Boys and Token Sorority Girl

President: Michael Moll is Alpha Delta Phi and part of the CUS, from Kenya, and shows up to AMS Council occasionally.

VP Academic: Matt Parson is Phi Delta Theta, the President of the Inter Fraternity Council at UBC (which EA Erik Mackinnon sits on), and is probably the hottest of all the candidates running. [Though some of our editors are on record as disagreeing.]

VP External: Katherine Tyson (isn’t technically in a sorority, she was too sick to rush this year) has been on AMS Council for a year and a half and is the Chair of UnECoRn, the committee that deals with things in the VPX’s portfolio. Was known this year for being rather antagonistic to Bijan—right until elections season rolled around. What gives, KT? We were way into your powerful woman schtick.

VP Finance: Arash Ehteshami is Kappa Sigma, the VP Internal of the AUS, and dating the President of SUS.

VP Administration: Mike Silley is Sigma Chi, has been on AMS Council for a long time, and is the Chair of BAFCOM, the committee that deals with AMS Businesses.

The Incumbents/Hacks

President: Jeremy McElroy is the current VP External, former AUS/RBF guy who hearts the AMS.

VP Academic: Justin Yang is the current VP Finance of AUS, former VP Finance of SUS, former Student Senator, and is the current AMS Tutoring co-ordinator.

VP External: Mitch Wright  is the current Associate VP External, former elections administrator, former AUS dude and all around hack.

VP Finance: Elin Tayyar is Beta Theta Pi, the current VP Finance, former SAC Vice-Chair, and last year’s hottest candidate.

VP Admin: A BLACK SHEEP. Er, dark horse?

The SJC/Knollies

They keep their Facebook profiles quite limited, unfortunately. Why do these people have no overly involved student profiles?! We’ll give you more details as we learn them.

President: Gord Katic is a kid we met off of Twitter who is a part of the SJC. He’s incredibly verbose. That’s all we know.

VP Academic: Omar Shaban is part of SPHR whose passion in life is “a secular Palestinian state where anybody regardless of his/her religion or race can live.” Awwwww!

VP External: Rory Breasail has been on AMS Council for nine months, and sits on the UnECoRn committee. He is also part of the SJC.

VP Finance: Arielle Friedman (also known as Care-ielle?!?) is part of the SJC, and a frequent contributor to The Knoll.


There’s some random guy from RezLife at Totem who is also probably running for VP Finance, and a rumoured FIFTH candidate that we don’t know about.

Things to bitch about: We’ve only heard of ONE candidate for VP Admin, so if there’s any of you who like SUB/Clubs, you should run…the more the merrier! There’s also an extreme lack of women running, with only TWO femmes fatale garnering for your votes. Oh, and no joke candidates? Where is Princess Leia, Kommander Keg, the Invisible Man, or Water Fountain?

BoG: Sean Heisler (current BoAwesome), Andrew Carne (hacktastic engineer), Sean Cregten (current Associate VP Academic)

Senate: Thomas Brennan, Sean Cregten, AJ Hajir Hajian, <insert ten other random students here, five of whom will drop out within the first week>.

Nominations close on Friday!

Even WikiLeaks Lite Gotta Make Rent, Bijan.

Yes, it’s true. On World Press Freedom Day, AMS Council cut off our VFM funding. Since like, only 50 of you actually vote (come ON! we have so many more hits than that!), you probably don’t care.

reports indicate an actual picture of a 'pink box' might be scandalous

Anyway, here is the Blackbox UBC Story, in point form. Like all True AMS Stories, its truth can only be known by the people involved, unless it came out in Council when no one was listening.

  • Blackbox UBC applied to be a VFM
  • Elections Administrator Erik Mackinnon accepted them
  • Bijan pulled a hissy fit and ordered Erik to reject them, because they leaked a super secret document (and had nothing to do with their anonymity)
  • They filed a complaint with the Ombudsperson (anonymously) against the AMS Executive and Elections Administrator for banning them from VFM
  • Executive Committee overruled Bijan and said they could be a VFM (Dear Political Rhetoric at UBC: note the difference? Execs, Executive, Exec Comm ≠ President.)
  • Erik freaked the fuck out and refused to make any more judgment calls re: VFM entrants until there were concrete rules surrounding continuous VFM
  • People raised questions regarding the anonymity of Blackbox, since (according to variously reliable sources) VFMs can’t be a) current candidates; or b) current councillors; or c) all of the above; or d) none of the above
  • AMS Council ignored all this shit and adjourned, thus FREEZING ALL THE VFM FUNDING—which you can imagine somebody isn’t happy about
  • Elin, VP Finance, (and we’re very disappointed if you still need that explanation of who Elin Tayyar is) ordered Erik to keep on making judgment calls to keep the money going; Erik refused in a manner completely unrelated to his political/social ties to Bijan
  • Elections are starting, yet there will be no continuous funding for the blogs (plus they decreased the one-time elections VFM), so what is the point of funding if you aren’t going to GIVE MONEY WHEN IT SUPER DUPER COUNTS? Or give incentive to new, virgin opinions?
  • Nobody reads The Ubyssey.

What the fuck? Yeah, let’s back up and rewind here. There are four major issues with all this Blackbox shit right now.

  1. The reason they weren’t accepted as a VFM was because Bijan didn’t like that they leaked something.
  2. There are technically no rules about who can or cannot be a VFM, which is hella wack.
  3. The real issue is whether the AMS should give money to anonymous persons, but because this is the AMS, the legitimate debate surrounding this (can, and should, we demand that people consider their sources?) will get totally lost in a shining clusterfuck of BIJAN IS MEAN and WHY DOES COUNCIL HATE US and SECRET CONSPIRACIES, YOU GUYS etcetera etcetera
  4. The AMS won’t be paying VFM during elections. Also uncool, guys.

So, yeah, what the fuck?

We dare you, National Post. We double-dog dare you.

oh, sorry, we meant this one instead:


Problem #1: Bijan acted unilaterally (ie like a dick) to ban a media outlet from funding because they leaked something. Going beyond that, is Bijan trying to threaten the student media on campus to make us stop making him into a Lorax in fear of getting less money or not being deemed a “credible” student media outlet? (More to the point, we were a credible student media outlet? God, we love this campus.)

Problem #2: There are technically no “real” rules about Continuous VFM (only the Elections VFM which is a one time vote). There is convention, however. A blog called Locust and Bumblebee applied and were turned down on the merit that they didn’t contribute any content that was UBC or AMS related. We are a rare species.

Problem #3: After stirring up a whole shitstorm about being concerned where their money is going with Gazapalooza, be that to Hamas via 100000 passing of hands or the building of a boat that will sink, the AMS & hangers on need to seriously consider applying that rhetoric to everything. For all they know, they could be funding a terrorist. Or a staffer.

Problem #4: How is this supposed to happen if you cut off the incentive? Sure, AMS Confidential and UBC Insiders will still post, but what about new talent? Last year we were one of the newcomers and wouldn’t have been able to enter if it wasn’t for Continuous VFM. Broke, sad ladies need blogs more than ever, guys. Bring back the subsidies!

Problem #5: We love you, Black Box, but your use of pull quotes is totally pretentious because you are quoting yourselves. Here, I’ll show you:

“Your use of pull quotes is totally pretentious and makes it seem like you think what you’re saying is really incredibly totally important.” — A Noted Blogger

Come on, AMS Council. Yeah, so you’re facing a ‘systemic deficit’ or whatever, but which do you need more: a working budget, or us? We know you love your Robot Unicorn, so why don’t you start feeding OUR unicorns? Exotic grasses are way expensive, and it’s getting harder and harder to deal with the Virgins’ Union and their constant demand for pay raises.

The Social Justice League!

At tonight’s special Gazapalooza! edition of Council, only a few things were certain.

1. An overwhelming, choking, poisonous atmosphere of smugness. In the immortal words of Paris Hilton, you know what you did.
2. Terrorism should be left to Elin Tayyar.
3. Legal opinions are only worth the price tag if you pass their recommended motion in the first hour.
4. The VP Academic office is awesome.

this meme never gets old.

5. The VP Academic office is craaaaazy awesome.

I'm rethinking not checking off "irrelevant point from legal opinion."


6. The Resource Groups, bastions of democratic autonomy though they may be, could use some extra steps towards organization and visibility, if not a complete and utter overhaul.

TO THAT END, we’d like to recommend something.

Whereas the Resource Groups in their current incarnation are divisive, reclusive and often out of touch with student sentiment;
and Whereas they seem overall in need of a…resurgence of public opinion, aka a Total Image Overhaul,
BIRT the Social Justice Centre rename themselves, and act in accordance with new policies of (to be agreed upon by Council in a further resolution & supported by referendum)


(c) Gerald Deo, GOD AMONG MEN

YES, on this beleaguered campus, has it not become clear that the League exists to battle the forces of injustice? As evildoers and naysayers take the reins of the highest positions of government, only the SOCIAL JUSTICE LEAGUE can save students from oligarchy! oligarchy and CRIPPLING DESPAIR. and false dichotomies. can’t forget them false dichotomies.

Featuring the forces of…

Teddy Sturgeon seems like a mild-mannered PhD student in his 5th 7th 10th 24th? year. But when injustice strikes, he changes into THE RHETORATOR, defender of things we’re not really sure about! Able to strike down enemies with the force of his twenty-minute speeches, he wields references to rape culture with the power of centuries of white male guilt. Beware, evil-doers: THE RHETORATOR is reading your blog.

This femme fatale’s origins may be mysterious, but her lethal attacks are well-known. CARE-IELLE leaps into action when called upon by any progressive cause, no matter its strength. Human rights being violated? Call CARE-IELLE! Elected leaders being thrown out of office? CARE-IELLE! Cat stuck in a tree… inhumanely? Yeah, better call CARE-IELLE. No problem is too great—or too small—for her to tackle.

Spiderman. Batman. Most of the X-Men, on and off. The events of Civil War. Sometimes, justice needs to hide behind a mask of anonymity. THE UNKNOWN COMMENTER understands that great deeds can grow from small seeds. Thus, his never-ending crusade to change minds and subvert oppression from the last free bastion of the people’s press: the comments section. Whether it’s (courageously) calling someone a racist or (with great gusto) condemning someone as a fundamentalist, THE UNKNOWN COMMENTER serves his community with no expectation of reward beyond that satisfaction of a job well done—an injustice righted.

スーパーせんたい JUSTICE GO!

This post has been brought to you by the zionist conspiracy liberation front. As always, your comments make us squeeeeeeeeal. VOTE VOTE VOTE!