Category Archives: News for Noobs

The First Annual Flamingos

Awards season appears to be over with the climax of The Oscars…or is it? Full disclosure, I was too busy watching the Justin Bieber movie instead of the Academy Awards, so I don’t really know what kind of competition we’re up against here. Anyway, here’s AMS Confidential’s take on the last years entertainment in council chambers. We give you…The Flamingos.

[image redacted to protect people doing better things with their lives now]

Brittany Perna was elected as the International Students Rep, and at her first meeting the AMS decided to axe the position altogether for next year’s elections. BritBrit still could have retained her seat for the whole year, lobbying for the international kids and all, but chose to skip all the council meetings instead.

Elin Tayyar never failed to make us swoon with his hipster style every meeting. Just look at this photo, it’s like pixel sex. And seriously, who else do you know who can rock PLAID pants?

Bijan Ahmadian doesn’t win a flamingo, but hey, this is us being nice to him. We could have said a lot of other things, but we just really don’t like this shirt. Or his fur lined jackets. Or his cuffed jeans, etc.

Amanda Li is fierce. Not only is she super hot, she’s also an engineer. Besides having to put up with guys all the time and a severe lack of ladies, she is also President of the EUS and can probably outdrink every other non-engineer guy on council. Who wouldn’t tap that?

Michael Haack wasn’t elected as VP Admin, but unlike every other person who doesn’t get elected, he decided to run in the AUS Elections for AMS Rep. Since then, Michael has gotten involved in a lot of committees and has grown from being somewhat knollie to being a good leader-of-the-opposition type of guy. We were really sad he didn’t run for VP Admin again, and it’s been fun watching him evolve into a cute little butterfly over the last year.

Ben Cappellacci came on the scene as a relative no one to anyone not in Sauder. At first we thought he was your typical frat guy, but over the year we’ve found out that he is so much more than that. Ladies, he is also single. Ben worked really hard this year on a whole bunch of things – like implementing Credit/D/Fail but most notably for lobbying on the Land Use Plan. He stepped in to fill Bijan’s shoes by leading the referendum committee and was overall stellar at pretty much everything he did, especially for having no earlier hack experience. We already miss him, and his ridiculous tweets on Wednesday nights.

Oh, Ryan Trasolini. Pretty sure that he is at the point now where he just wants to forget that he was ever involved in AMS politics. However, let’s reminiscence: after his election resulted in a tie, with the tie breaker being cast for the other candidate, he appealed. After the appeal didn’t go the way he wanted, he went to student court, where they tried to throw out the entire election. Then Brian Platt stepped down in order for the AUS Executive to vote to appoint an interim President, and Ryan brought some of his frat friends to proxy and vote for him so he could win. After that, he got to be AUS President, woopdeedoo, where they got their account frozen for operating without a budget. But back to the AMS – Ryan was the chair of the Student Life Committee which was supposed to be dealing with the Block Party fiasco and making a plan for it to be fiscally sustainable. Turns out that he didn’t do any of this, leaving Crystal Hon to pick up the pieces in just a few weeks. We advise Ryan to just stick to spinning sick beats in the future.

Have some other suggestions for The Flamingos? Leave in the comments or email to amsconfidential [at]

Don’t forget to vote for us in VoterMedia, right here!

FuckYeahNumbers – CUSElections AfterMATH

* Also, a quick something on Sauder secret building monies (oOOOooohh). Read about that and more after the break.

As a former/current math nerd, there’s nothing that gets me more excited than being able to throw numbers and statistics around and feel important. It’s like a second Christmas, except instead of bits of shredded wrapping paper flying through the air, it’s percentages and … other math things flying through the air. You can only imagine the intense feelings I have towards Pie R Squared.


To be fair, though, Sauder has a LOT of good looking and sexy numbers to throw around this year:

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Breaking: The Not So Awesome New U-Pass

Hey, remember when we broke that story about how all the students in BC will now be getting access to a U-Pass? And how us cool kids at UBC will have to pay a little bit more? Sounds ok, right? We’re having a referendum on it in March so there will be more on this to come.

However, the new U-Pass system SUCKS SO HARSH. Let us break it down.

  1. The U-Pass will now be monthly, instead of by semester. This is a HUGE pain in the ass, to always remember to go get your U-Pass at the end of the month before it becomes the 1st. Also, isn’t this wasting a lot of paper?
  2. You will most likely be going to a vending machine to get your U-Pass.
  3. If you lose your U-Pass, you can’t get another one until the next month. Update: You can actually get up to one lost one per month, but have to go to the carding office instead.
  4. The U-Pass won’t have your picture or name on it. It also will not be able to swipe in the swipy machines.
  5. You have to present your student card with your U-Pass.
  6. If you are caught without your student card, you are fined $173 AND you are not allowed to participate in the U-Pass program for the rest of the year.

So, let’s say you’re taking the Canada Line to work. There’s a random fare check before you get on the train, and you have your U-Pass in your pocket like you always do. You’re asked for your student card, and then you realize- oh shit, you forgot your student card in your gym bag after using it to scan in at the BirdCoop! If you get a mean transit cop, you’re then fucked for the rest of the YEAR.

Not to mention that if you get your wallet stolen or just misplace your U-Pass (as I do at least three times/year) you are then fucked for the rest of the MONTH.

So basically Translink is trying to crack the whip down on students. Good thing we have some smarty pants on Council. Students, if you get caught, just say that you have no fare instead of showing “half” of it. Then you’re treated like a regular criminal and not that of the super special student criminal. Oh, and if you’re graduating, don’t forget to “lose” your student card! It will be valid for another five years, so you have all that time to get your friends who are still in school to give you their “lost” U-Pass each month.

Thank you, Translink for this epic fail.

Rage your comments and conspiracy theories in the commentzzzzz and


This is Why He’s Hawt

The most sparkly news we’ve heard in a while is definitely THE RETURN OF THE JOHANNES. He is running for President and that means…that if he wins, he’ll be back on AMS Council. Be still, our hearts.

There’s currently some baby scandal occurring, because he’s not allowed to campaign for the next 24 hours, according to a Facebook message we got. Whatever, we are jumping the gun and officially endorsing Johannes for CUS President. Because Johannes is the best. In fact, he is so amazing and Confidential loves him soo much (possibly more than our uber-crush Guvna Sean Heisler) that we compiled a list.

1. We endorsed him last year for Senate. He was also the VP Academic for the AMS. He knows what he’s doing, and he’s a sexy bitch. Plus, it’d be really great to have another former exec back on council, for some sanity.

2. He was the favourite choice of our AMS Prince Charming guide. We can’t ignore the voters!

3. He is Estonian.

4. He speaks like, 4 languages.

5. He likes Pedobear. This is him at the Anime Convention last year.

6. HIS WEBSITE IS THE GREATEST THING EVER. Besides having a great theme which makes him look like the most! fun! person! ever!, he also uses TUMBLR and FOURSQUARE for his CAMPAIGN. [Editor’s Note: Taylor is a huge social media geek and thinks this is the greatest thing since sliced bread. She is weird.]

7. This video. (special appearance by Ben Cappellacci too!)

8. He is a musician, and plays the electric violin. No, we’re not joking. Yes, he’s the perfect man. Listen here. Oh, and he was in a band once upon a time.

9. He wears glasses, enough said.

10. Look at him. He is just seriously so, so, cute. VOTE JOHANNES FOR PRESIDENT.

Poster Fun, Round Two!

Chanchan here.  Day 4 of all of the elections hullabaloo, and I’m tired already.  I’ve already exercised my “democratic right” so all of you should too.  Unfortunately, since most of the posters for BoG and Senate are trainwrecks-in-action, I see no point in subjecting my powers of shallow that far.

Candidates for VP Academic

Matt Parson

Fortunately for Matt, his real poster is much better.  Unfortunately for Matt, it looks exactly like everyone else’s.  I wonder if his photo shoot was at Wreck, as the scenery is just too UBC-promotions-material for it to be anything else. (You can see the photo at his website.)  If this is at Wreck, the location is very apt.  It perfectly describes his multi-colored Facebook campaign, complete with the devil’s font itself, Comic Sans.  However, it has been shown that things written in ugly fonts can be recalled better, so he might be catching onto something.

Jennifer Wang

You have avoided my scrutiny (not criticism, Omar) by being virtually absent on paper.  Congratulations.

Justin Yang

Your poster bears a striking resemblance to both British wartime propaganda and Taylor’s new favorite picture.  So you should appeal to both history fanatics and girls attracted by sparkly things, right?  Maybe not the former; I have read some critique of the finer nuances of your campaign. (Prod me if this is you!) Keeping calm and carrying on is a very different route than keeping calm and voting for you.  At least you have capitalized upon an iconic movement without butchering it completely.  Relatively so anyways.  Let’s be grateful for small miracles though; not a buzzword in sight.

Candidates for VP Admin

Gord Katic

How many skinny scarves does it take to build an AMS Council?! Come on.  You look like your emerging from the fog… and you can’t see a damn thing.  Great look for someone who is supposedly leading us toward more engaged student community.  Reading your poster was like reading an academic journal; too many words, and I gave up half way through.  TL, DR.   I’m not sure if “bureaucratic nightmare” is the proper term you are looking for… an exercise in tact you are not, Gord.

Mike Silley

(Chanchan could not acquire a large enough version of the poster.  Apologies.  Go look on Facebook if you really want.)

There’s something about argyle sweaters that makes Chanchan grin.  +1, friend.  -2, however, for writing an essay in a space meant for twenty or so words.   I do realize that for all my harping on poster design, it is rarely the fault of the candidate, rather their poster designer, but it’s your face on it.  You should be able to decide what smile you want to show up on your poster, Mike.  Too bad all your photos look the same.  All in all, pretty average – but when average is sub-par, you might want to re-evaluate where you stand.  It’d be awesome if I could actually READ what you wrote on your poster… but I guess I’ll have to make do with ogling your argyle sweater.

Kathy Yan Li

For someone that’s vaguely referencing Ke$ha, I expected more skeeviness and less conservative button ups.  But don’t worry, I know someone who can take care of the Ke$ha references for you.  The chalkboard crown is reminiscent of a sticker picture (I would know, I’m Asian, but so are you, Kathy) and there is a strong lack of glitter, despite the “Glitter Up” tagline.  Despite these shortcomings, I find myself strangely drawn to your poster, which is more than I can say for anything else on those forsaken bulletin boards across campus.  So, props, I guess.

In conclusion:  If you run for a Council position with a portfolio that doesn’t begin with A, you’ll be more interesting by default. (don’t forget to vote! and you can also toss us a vote here, we love you).

Websites. You Are Doing It Wrong.

It’s time to rag on the candidate websites, and ohhhhh lorrdddyy do we have a steaming pile of crap this year. Honestly people… go sit in the Compsci building for 10 minutes with a sign saying “I’LL CONVERT TO LINUX IF YOU BUILD ME A WEBSITE” and you’ll have a computer nerd working for you. Here are a couple of my favourites, because I’m sure as hell not writing about all of them.

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Your Campaign Interpretation Guide 2011: Poster Fun!

This is a guest post by Chanchan, a new contributor.

My name is Chanchan.  My favorite things are ramen, Chanel bags, and rhinestones.  I have been told I am as shallow as a kiddie pool, but I say that while beauty is skin deep, ugly is to the bone.  Now that’s deep.

While we’re on the topic of shallow, have you seen some of these posters…? Yiiiikes. We like pretty things, so we recommend that you shield your eyes.

Click read more only if you can handle it

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