Yep, I’ve got it bad. I feel lazy and unmotivated and I used to think I had the dreaded “senioritis” in second and third year, but boy, was I wrong. I just feel so done with everything to do with school. I haven’t even been writing on my blog!
After three years, I guess at this point I’m feeling tired. Tired of feeling restricted by expectations and course requirements, tired of feeling judged. I’m tired of the mentality of trying to play music in order to get good marks, or to impress someone. I’m looking forward to getting out of school where I can get back to basics: making music to share and connect with others.
I think in a way I feel like UBC no longer belongs to me. I feel like I belong at UBC, but UBC is a place for growing. I have grown, and now I am ready to fly the nest. UBC belongs to all the new faces just getting started, who will get to enjoy all the new buildings and not just the construction detours (I’m not bitter, I swear).
I’m excited to graduate. (Let’s ignore the fact that I’ll be leaving all my friends here, for a moment.) Earlier this summer I was scared thinking about what I would do for money directly after graduation, but at this point, even a mundane job not relating to my degree sounds like a nice change of pace.
For the time being, I’ll try to still get all my assignments and practicing done despite my lethargy and hold on for just a few months more.