Tag Archives: kyle warwick

Endorsements Round Choo choo choose you

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Voting has started for the 2012 AMS Elections (check your email for a vote code!) and apart from voting for us (because we’re sparkly, smart and suuuuuuper awesome) you should consider voting for actual candidates. Here are our VP picks for this year, with BoG/Senate/SLFS and your goddamn President coming. Yes, you can call these our #AMselections IF YOU MUST:

Caroline can VP Administrate me ANY DAY

Highlights from her platform: [Editor’s note: I’m super mean on this one because I used to be the VP Admin]

  • She promises a LEED Platinum Building for the New SUB and engagement with the UBC SEEDs Program. This is already happening regardless. What she should really focus on is ensuring the post-occupancy sustainability of the New SUB.
  • She wants to create an online club management system. This is promised every, single year. There’s already a financial system in place. AMS Link, an online system that did exactly that three years ago was taken down because no one used it. The focus then should be on convincing clubs to use a content management system rather than spending money on building something fancy.

Why we like her:

  • She has sat on council and numerous committees. She has also acted as the AUS’s VP External and convinced constituency presidents to dye their hair purple (that’s AUSsome).
  • She has participated in the lefty Social Justice Centre and may just be the hottest knollie we have ever seen. She’s able to see both sides to an issues and that’s a great trait to have.

Warwick for VPX: He’s Better than Nothing (Trust us, you don’t want another by-election)

His platform (and what we think about it):

  • He wants to shift lobbying from federal lobbying to focus more on provincial and municipal topics such as translink (like getting a much-needed rapid transit line to UBC!). While we agree that more should be done provincially, completely disregarding national lobbying initiatives, especially when there is NO actual national strategy on post-secondary education, is probably not the best idea.
  • He also wants to be stern and serious when it comes to UPass negotiations. While this is a valiant effort, we’re likely to keep paying more and more for our transit pass.

Why we “like” him:

  • Kyle Warwick falls into the category of heavily-partisan-hacks-that-should-graduate-already. He has sat on AMS council for three solid years and ran in the 2011 federal election for the Liberal Party in Skeena, BC (we also have NO CLUE where that is).  He has tons of experience and if he can let go of some of his Liberal Party tendencies, he’ll do a good job.

Tristan Miller for VP Finance, The Job No One Else Knows How to Do, I Don’t Care if You Have a Budget Spreadsheet

His Platform..errr. I mean manifesto?:

  • Spend less shit. (Seriously, that’s all I got from his website)

Why we like him:

  • Continuing the tradition of dapper, well-dressed gentlemen at the helm of the AMS’s finances, Tristan has a strong understanding of the AMS as the current Vice-Chair of the Financial Commission. And because we only vote based on looks, [ONLY LOOKS. JUST LOOKS, ALL THE TIME. LOOKS AND SPITE] he is an absolute shoo-in (speaking of shoes, he has SO MANY CUTE PAIRS).

KIRAN FOR VP Academic (and University affairs)

This had to be the hardest VP race for us to choose between. Mostly it’s because Carven is all sorts of fabulous and lives and breathes pure, sparkly, radical wonder. But we decided to go with Kiran Mahal. Read on to find out why.

Her platform highlights (and what we think about them):

  • She promises to address mental health and wellness. This is an ENORMOUS problem at UBC (otherwise known as the Canadian Centre for Seasonal Affective Disorder), and it would be a true benefit for the student body if the AMS can get UBC to move past “raising awareness” of issues such as suicide and mental health and ACTUALLY create better policy.
  • She wants to create an exam database. This has been attempted and failed. Much like a Clubs’ Content Management system, the trick would be to convince the many users to actually remember to post and use the system.

Why we chose her:

  • Kiran is a competent, well-spoken and hard-working individual. [Ed. note: nobody said articulate.] She is the current SUS President, worked with AMS Services AND was the President of the Young Women in Business UBC Chapter. While we would like to see her focus a little more on University Affairs such as land use and governance, she already demonstrates a firm vision of what she wants to achieve. With a strong BoG team as University allies, she could kick some major ass on both fronts.

While we all voted on the endorsements, this post written by Ekat, who was VP Admin two years ago. In candidate terms, she’s held executive office, so she’s at the Presidential experience level. In airport lounge terms, Presidential means she gets two free drinks and a newspaper. BONUS!

Think we were wrong? Candidates! Feel free to post below. It’s tough to be judged (even by someone as sparkly as us) and we would love your thoughts if you think we have it all wrong.

The Hipster-Hack Matrix

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To go with your a.m. selection: Introducing the matrix of all matrixes, The Hipster-Hack Matrix.  Literal eons in the making, we’re not even kidding, this may just be the next BCG matrix (don’t know what that is? #sauderfail). So hold on to your down-belows, take a deep breath and let’s dive in.

 

The matrix is divided into four quadrants based on the candidates’ relative hipster and hack tendencies. But old person, you say, what’s a hack? Basically, student politics is a giant, often quirky, sometimes weird and always insular clique. The more you are involved in student government, the more you’re a hack—and that can be good or bad.

So, are you involved (good) or have you totally lost sight of the average student experience (bad)? To help you determine which candidate best meets your hip-hack needs, we’ve gone ahead and positioned everyone on the scale for your viewing (and voting!) pleasure.

This post brought to you by The Confidential Team—mostly Ekat. As always, all statistics on this blog are made up. We’re sorry; we know some of you are engineers.

aus throwdown/showdown

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Gossip Guy here. Happy to see me? I know you are. I can practically see the smile on your face from wherever I’m currently sitting/stumbling.

Well, fellow Artsies… we have a lot of tough choices this year. We’ll have to pick Yes or No in four different races, one involving a Star Wars character (WIN). Three guys going for President, and two ladies and purple lightsaber-wielding Sammy J for VPX. Then a bunch of General Officers and AMS reps. But c’mon… let’s focus on what’s really important here (Not that they aren’t all important. Just some things take priority, k?). So yes… EL PRESIDENTE. How are we going to decide who to support this year? We’ll leave it to…

the crudely rendered semi-androgynous pink and black gambling addicted elections mascot

I now realize I spent all my bloody time making that stupid graphic, and didn’t write anything of substance. Make sure you read the contest at the end of the post, and actually enter, so I don’t end up crying alone tonight because I wasted so much time. [Kai sez: welcome to the Confidential Editorial board, GG. You’ll get used to it.]

We’ll do some in-depth analyses in the coming days – and be assured, we WILL penetrate into the inner recesses, unlike the EUS elections, which we know nothing about. Full candidate list and some useless links after the jump y’all. AND THE CONTEST.

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Aaaand they’re off.

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Day one after the announcement of candidates, and rumor has it

(and by ‘rumor’ I mean verifiable evidence plus the natural supposition that of course elections officials are in Panic Epic Work Mode at the moment)

that Chief Elections Officer & CEO of Our Hearts Isabel Ferreras has spent her morning off and on the phone to her staff.  Certainly we’ve already seen three—three!—BoG candidates drop out.  Goodbye, Peter Stein, AJ Hajir Hajian, and Nader Beyzaei—we hardly knew ye.

We’ve got the complete list for you after the break, but first, let’s take a little walk down quelle scandale potentiale lane, y’all.

The buzz at beer last night and brunch this morning was triplefold—quadruple if you count the cheap Gallery pitchers—but it boils down to this:

  1. Blake Frederick.  It’s been too easy lately to forget that our BF came into office as something of a golden boy, hailed by supporters and detractors alike both for his passionate commitment and political credentials.

    Happier times.  (Photo: Gerald Deo)

    And despite—or perhaps because of—the shitshow that’s marked his end of term, Frederick hasn’t given up the political life.  He’s thrown his hat into, in fact, three races—not only the usual Senate/BoG pairing, but also the Ubyssey’s Board of Directors.  This last is interesting considering that Frederick & our beloved campus publication are not what you’d call the best of friends.  There have been scathing editorials all round and a rather sudden crackdown on AMS communications policy getting in the way of good relations.  With all that history, one wonders what the Ubyssey Board could look like at this time next year—assuming, of course, that Frederick doesn’t disqualify himself by winning another race.

  2. The positions of interest. Although it’s not unusual to see BoG, Senate, and VP External attract a few more competitors than other positions, this year’s International Student Rep hopefuls are almost frighteningly numerous.  You guys know this position is non-voting, right?  (And Star, you know you submitted all materials without a last name, right? you do know? and it’s a thing? oh. cool.)  It’s also heartening to see two relative unknowns rounding out the Presidential nominees, although it makes hunting for pictures a heckuva lot harder.  Don’t even ask me about typing the tags up for this post.  RIDICULOUS.

    YOU SEE HOW I SUFFER FOR YOU

  3. The Elections Committee’s (presumed) accountability screed. One of the new features this year will be a PENALTY BOX on the Elections official website.  Isabel Ferreras is a formidable woman, as seen here:

    cower, puny candidates!! leg-biting will be penalized!

    and we have no doubt that she won’t hesitate to use this box, which purpose is to daily—publicly!—keep the voting public very aware of any and all “warnings, violations, infractions and penalties.” It’s a move we here at Fuzzy Kitten Unicorn Scandal are looking forward to a little too much, frankly.

BUT WHO ELSE is out there? here are the people we’ll be stalking bothering in the name of Fair Game Media Coverage for the next month:

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WWND: What Would Naylor Do?

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With the ballot approval of 5 of 6 Matt Naylor-driven referenda in last night’s Council meeting and a pledge by the aforementioned Arts Man to collect the required signatures to push the EPIC slates question through, this election is taking on a decidedly Naylor-esque focus.  In fact, perusal of our (rather limited) files would seem to indicate a decidedly Naylorean focus to a lot of political events ’round these parts.

In last night’s happenings, Naylor was named Chair of the Legislative Procedures Committee, effectively making him Chairman Naylor and cementing his title as the robust ruler of AMS Council. There is a war raging on campus, as evidenced in last night’s meeting, between the current President and the People. Naylor has begun the Long March towards 1000 signatures and will not stop until his archnemesis Stalin Blake Frederick is held accountable for his rendezvous <insert human rights jokes here>.

Whether you want to sound smarter & more politically involved to that cutie sitting next to you at debates (come on, you know all this power stuff just turns you on), or you’re a member of UVSS who’s determined to follow mainland happenings, here are a few terms to drop in the next three months before the big man finally, like all student politicians, graduates.

Naylorism: A lengthy comment characterized by verbal free-wheeling, grandstanding, or at least one reference to something one holds dear, i.e. an established office or Democracy—bonus points for condemning, in the midst of this, Tim Chu.  A Double Naylorism can be achieved by following with a wry comment, being cut off by Speaker Dave, or inadvertently spitting/pounding the table with your fist.  A Triple Naylorism requires a shot of Aquavit just to get started.

These positions are not to be used as personal chew toys – ignoring relationship maintenance is the same as ignoring the UPass – it is a vital part of the portfolio left undone.

The AMS is very sick. It is in need of more structural reform than I could have imagined. The people who are elected to serve it … are being deceitful, disingenuous, disorganized, disrespectful … [and are] responsible for shattering the Society’s democratic safeguards.

The Olympic legacy on campus could be far more than a new arena – I am concerned that it could represent the opening of the floodgates in terms of the abuse of civil liberties on campus.

Meta-Naylorism: any Naylorism which includes a self-aware reference to cult geek fandom, e.g. Star Wars, Star Trek, BSG, Buffy.

Giles: “I’ll have you know that I have very, um, many relaxing hobbies.”
Buffy: “Such as?”
Giles: “Well, um…I enjoy cross-referencing.”

– Naylor on Lexis-Nexis

Naylorite: 1) A devotee of all things Naylor, particularly those who own two or more former Naylor campaign materials.  2) A political ally who benefits from Naylorean enthusiasm/epic Naylorisms, whether or not their support is widely expressed.  3) Taylor Loren, total Naylor groupie (who was near tears when proxying for him last night), ruiner of any shred of supposed journalistic neutrality/integrity, as evidenced by this Top Secret File:

Witness.

*For context: “Naylorism” Quotes One, Two, and Three.