Tag Archives: tim chu

Your Complete Guide to The AMS

new to ubc? here’s what you missed…

PREVIOUSLY on AMS CONFIDENTIAL:

The AMS stands for your Alma Mater Society. The name doesn’t make sense, but it was formed to be your student society; you pay them fees and in return they keep the university from doing whatever it wants. Plus, parties and stuff!

anyway.

MIKE used to be Alma Mater Society President and he poledanced a lot

there’s like a million of these on facebook.

but then he turned things over to BLAKE

guido guido guido (photo c/o gerald deo)

go o~on….

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Executive Report Cards, Part 1

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Hopefully all you lovely readers are enjoying your summer, blissfully free of UBC. We’re still here, and also kind of bored… so we read all the AMS executives’ quarterly reports.

Critiques, you ask? Applause? BISH PLZ. That would require us delving into the Issues That Matter. Since it’s impossible to get an interview with these sexy folk, we’re just going to stop at the surface level of their reports. (Which, we might add, would make any stakeholder cringe at the epic amounts of graphic design fail. Can’t you people get some artsy interns in or something?)

VP Administration

FTW: Completed SUB negotiations; maintained perfect mane. Mad Commerce negotiation skillz earned the AMS a grace period of 8 years for services in the old/current SUB, and maintained the winning side of fixed interest rates, among other things. Planned SUB Architect Selection.

Facepalm: Failed to save the equity program from the chopping block—which may or may not be seen as a good thing, depending on whether you <3 equity or capitalism more. Yay for a lighter portfolio?

Sparkles: there is apparently a “huge ongoing issue” with the water polo club…wait, what? We have a water polo club? Um, we’re having a major flashback to the good ol’ days, when we were but young sprogs watching the OC in our dorm/parents’ rec room…

not to be confused with an Issue That Matters.

Dramz (Possibly Imaginary): She mentioned the Ubyssey Architect profile of stock questions to the firms and how that helped their campaign in March…however, she totally snubbed former VP Admin Crystal Hon & the intense Issues That Matter blogging that occurred in April while Architect Selection was actually taking place. Plus, Crystal wasn’t present at the signing of the SUB negotiations…which she worked on for a year. KNIFE FIGHT OR JUST DUMB POLICY?

Her quarterly also mentions a miscommunication between the former Equity Big Head Guru & the new occupants of her once-proudly-Equitized office space. Hey, Emma? apparently you need to return some keys. We know leaving is hard, but sit-ins are just too, too retro.

“While I am in commerce, I’m no blood-thirsty, greedy, proletariat-crushing capitalist that hates equity and i think the whole Equity idea within the AMS has gone amuck.”

Ben Cappellacci, VP Academic & University Affairs

FTW: Ben’s working on implementing the Credit/D/Fail system which will help our—well, mostly your—GPAs! WOO. He also merged the Safewalk and Safety offices and seemed to generally care about and work with international students.

this bears little relevance but had to be posted anyway.

Facepalm: Ben mentions the “Sale of Liquor” database in his report…but SOL’s are “Special Occasion Licenses.” Ben writes as if he is involved in this project, while in reality, this editor hasn’t witnessed Ben inputting over 1000 SOL’s into a database past midnight on a Saturday night. [Important disclaimer: Taylor, Girlfriend of Insider, gets all defensive when her mans has to work late.] Ben’s office houses the binders that the SOLs are stored in, but this is mainly an Issues That Matter volunteer project.

Also, Ben doesn’t seem to love council much.

Sparkles: The new campus plan for the next 20 years includes the goal to house 50% of all UBC students in residence. The Sauder Store is coming in September 2011, and we only have 2 more years of the horrid Vista system left (OH THANK GAWD).

Dramz: Ben lays some executive-speak smack down on former AVP Ian Turner, saying their relationship was “strained at best” and that Ian “was unable to produce a completed project during his time in the office.” Ooo~ooh, burn. On the other hand, Ian totally made Sportswriter of the Year.

“AMS Council is truly the stuff of legend.”

die, old man blazers, DIE.

Jeremy McElroy, VP External

FTW: Jeremy went to Ottawa, came home, and we became Associate Members of CASA again! He also dealt with a debacle around the U-Pass Subsidy Fund, which was fully allocated to students in financial need for the first time ever. He then found out that the U-Pass mailouts were being paid for from this fund, so there was a 60k overdraft. Bad former Execs! bad!

FACEPALM: OH MY GAWD THAT BLAZER. Also, a notable lack of copy editing in this one. We’d volunteer to look over the drafts next time, but somehow we don’t think he’d go for it.

Sparkles: what’s up with Lobby Days? Is that happening this year despite the OVER 9000!!!1!!!!1! DOLLARZ aspect? What does a girl have to do to score herself an invite to that party?

Dramz: HST is looming like my thighs after a winter of inactivity, and there’s a BC Lobby initiative trying to get off the ground. And considering that the province has promised a universal post-secondary pass but provided no details—well, it doesn’t take a Commerce major to realize that our traditionally Hells Of Low fees could rise to accomodate other schools.

More next time, as we delve into the shallow, shallow depths of QUARTERLY REPORTS woooooo

Bye Bye International Seat…

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Oh, International Seat…so last month’s Disabilities Seat. If you want some point vs point action that sort of hurts your brain, check out the epic battle of Timkachu vs. Chairman Naylor on Issues That Matter here.

At Council on Wednesday, the Legislative Procedures Committee (Leprecomm LPC) headed by our very Chairman Naylor brought the issue of abolishing the International Students seat (which is non-voting) to Council’s oval table. They argued that the ISA seat was not in the best interest of the group it represents, and that the structure of the AMS is not amenable to such a seat. Basically, in the AMS we have representation by population, so having a seat tailored to the interests of international students allows for double representation, which is an LPC no-no.

Representation by population is something that is important to preserve as it is allowing each member a representative on council through a direct channel and empowers people to get elected through those channels. –Chairman Naylor

Saayy whaaaat? Federalism?

Basically:

As a student, you belong to a faculty. Be this Arts, Engineering, Science, or Human Kinetics to name a few (oh hai, they happen to be having their own elections and Arts/HK nomination forms are due Tuesday. http://ubcvotes.ca for more info! *shameless democracy plug*).
Within your faculty, you have an undergraduate society which holds elections to elect your own sexy executive and other positions, including AMS reps.
The AMS has reps based on how many students are in that faculty. Proportional representation, anyone? If you’re in Arts, you get 5 reps. Science, 4. & on and on and on…so that every student has the same amount of representation on Council, and the same chance of getting elected to Council.

The whole point in this is that someone represents you based on your faculty and that everyone is equal, and it is NOT based on whether you’re an international student, a student with disabilities, a gay student, a commuter student, etc.

Tahara encompassed the above in a moving speech, except she threw in an “anglo-saxon seat” example which got these editors daydreaming…

JJ is running for SUS Director of Finance...but we'd kind of like this instead.

Anyway, a lot of sexy debate resumed. And we mean a LOT. Let us also note that Brittany Perna was just recently elected to the seat, and this was her first real council meeting…such a nice welcome! Here are some of this editor’s favourite bitch slap quotes.

Tim: There’s been no consultation with International Students.
El Naylorino: Tim, it’s quite clear you don’t care about consultation. #OHSNAP

Naz, Former Int’l Rep: If I am gay, I am gay everywhere. If I go back to Iran, I am not an international student.

There were also some nice quotes:

The only divides we should see at this table are the arbitrary ones between faculties. –New VPX Jeremy

We should work holistically with I-House. – Iggy (up for re-election!)

So then it came time to vote, and it was breathtakingly close. 2/3 was needed, and it got EXACTLY 2/3. Perhaps the lesson learned from this debate is that if you want to push your controversial cause through council, seeking political advice—and impassioned speech-making—from Timkachu is a guaranteed way to make it fail.

Remember kids, as Chairman Naylor bravely expressed, High School Musical style, we’re all in this together. Love each other, and love those international/domestic kids…they’re a big source of sex appeal/revenue for the university <3

Disclaimer of sorts? Kai is an international student, and Taylor is a domestic student. EQUALLY FUNDED VOTER FUNDED MEDIA WHAT WHAT.

Unobtanium Jello Wrestling!

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Well, the event you were all waiting for has come and gone. No, not The Presidential Debate hosted by Issues That Matter and The Media. Instead, The Unobtanium Jello Wrestling event. Held as a part of Science Week, it conveniently falls during elections and, as such, has become a joyous platform for candidates to campaign upon. In many cases, it is also the determining factor for many students yet to cast their ballot. While the non-hack and non-SUS crowd was meager at best, there were some epic battles.

For all you Noobs out there, the objective of jello wrestling is to remove the sock of your opponent in an inflatable bowl/pool of…green jello. Needless to say, judicious use of tarps (and athletic garb) are involved.

After the cut, more of this:

god, we wish.

PLUS our exclusive live-action Sean v. Joel EngNerd Death Match—and how this year’s candidates compare to those of years gone by.

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The Sexy Referendum

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We’re trying to make this as simple as possible for you normal, less hacktastic folk out there. We’re not lovers of code either, so bear with us.

When you vote online between January 25-29 (here is how to vote and what to expect), besides choosing candidates (here are our endorsements) you will get to vote YES or NO to 9 questions. We’ll present the questions to you now, with full analysis after the jump.

[Editor’s note: On your ballot, these referenda will be in a different order. We apologize for the confusion.]

1) Do you support the removal of Blake Frederick from the office of President?

2) Do you support the removal of Tim Chu from the office of VP External Affairs?

3) Do you support the AMS establishing a $5.00 refundable Engagement Levy to help improve student engagement by encouraging voter turnout and funding engagement related projects?

4) Do you support indexing the fees of the AMS to the Canadian Core Consumer Price Index?

5) Do you support the amendment of the AMS Bylaws as presented, for the purposes of enabling Student Council to remove an individual from a position as an officer of Council, and other amendments as outlined?

6) Do you support an increase in student fees beginning September 2010 of $1 per part-time student and $2 per full-time student per semester to be directed to the Access UBC Association of Disabled Students for the purpose of increasing accessibility, participation and inclusion for all people with disabilities on campus and in society?

7) Do you support the amendment of the AMS Bylaws as presented, based on the recommendations of a consultant hired to review the operations of Student Court and of a special AMS joint committee, for the purpose of revising the rules concerning Student Court?

8 ) Should the AMS create a voting seat on AMS Council for students with disabilities by amending Bylaw 5.2(a)?

9) Should the AMS actively lobby for reduced tuition fees and increased government funding?

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Backup career: fridge whisperer?

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A little interlude before SRS BUSINESS takes over all of next week:

An anonymous tipster just sent us this little .gif, and we have to say, we’re impressed. If Tim politics like he dances/makes sweet, sweet love to the frigidaire, we may have to reconsider our stance on the Chumeister’s reelection campaign.

omfg

This post has no real value.

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We’re sorry to report that our Ladies of the AMS Highly Scientific Flow Chart has been delayed due to unforeseen circumstances (a.k.a we forgot). In the meantime, you can brighten up your council times with these fun quotes from ACTUAL DEBATERS from today! Remember, K & T are lazy as all get-out, so these quotes are paraphrased. Corrections in the comments, plz, and don’t get too upset if we rearranged erroneously 🙁

Sometimes you’ll find yourself sort of the Lone Ranger on council who has an idea of the financial situation [and you’ll have to educate some fools].
– Tom

Prompting this image:

But who is his Tonto??? (Gerald Deo photo)

Lobby days, for those of you who are unaware, are where we send everyone to Victoria to stay in hotels and lobby the provincial government, which costs us over $9000.
– Tim

“Wait, did he just— did that just— OMFG” – Internet Nerds on the side

auuuuuugh too much internets (Gerald Deo photo)

Note to other internet nerds: there is only one intentional meme in this image. If you see another one, it’s because I can’t draw.

Note to non-internet nerds: Don’t get it? Here you go.

And, finally, on a personal note, Aaron Palm is a goddamn champion. He may not have won the debates, but for his straight shooting and excellent choice of headgear, he has won our hearts. Congratulations, sir, and may your JD flow freely and all your future endeavors be successful. For Chuck Norris Aaron Palm, each testicle IS larger than the other one.

AMERICAAAAAA FUCK YEAHHHHHH (Gerald Deo photo)

(Foxtrot, we expect you’ll have something to add to that.)

Delicious Debates, Part 2

Your campaign interpretation guide: Poster fun!

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Campaigning started bright ‘n early this morning, and the halls & classrooms are already plastered with posters of varying size and attractiveness. Clearly, a number of people were verrrrry busy with Photoshop over the weekend. This editor couldn’t help but note that by as early as 9ish, Buchanan B had a heavy emphasis on the presidential campaign: every classroom on the second floor had both a Bijan and a Nat Swift poster; Sean Kim trailed in third by choosing specific areas (although we have to doubt the wisdom of ‘top of the recyling bin’ as a location). No doubt dedicated volunteers spent long hours to ensure that we were confronted with the smiling faces of hacks wherever we may go, although we can’t help but wonder what measures were necessary to keep toiling fingers at the button machines.

This seemed like a better idea in the strategy meeting.

In these dizzying times, it can be hard to properly analyze campaign media sources. That’s why, after the jump, we’ve given you our Handy Dandy Campaign Poster Field Guide. It’s the definitive resource to identifying, classifying, and ultimately analyzing the campaign materials with which you’re about to be, for lack of a better term, flyerfucked.

Should you, by the way, notice that we’ve an important subgroup, let us know in the comments. Did I mention we love the shit out of comments? OH BOY COMMENTS.

FYI: Use of campaign materials for the purposes of this post does not constitute an endorsement in any way, shape, or form. Duh.

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Red Hot News Media

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Slow news weekend? Nonsense. Here at AMS Confidential, we’ve uncovered a bushel bask of RED HOT TIPS for your perusal. We’re totally like Gillian Anderson as Agent Scully: hot stuff, hot on the case. Except, you know, there’s two of us. And we’re pretty sure K is Agent Mulder.

It’s important to note before we reveal this information that we’re aware some of it is pretty hush-hush. We thought long and hard before letting this out into the open, well aware that we were running a risk in revealing this to the public too soon. Some of you may not be able to handle the level of scandal we’re about to reveal—for those with weak hearts, we advise taking it in small doses, perhaps by covering part of your monitor with a piece of paper and slowly sliding it down to reveal wee, bite-sized pieces of dirty linen.

IT JUST WON'T DIE (Gerald Deo photo)

Tim Chu’s commitment to his mandate is impeccable: he’s got, like, two whole referenda! Referenda he’d kind of pledged to do anyway! He wants the AMS to “actively lobby” for less tuition and more government funding—because currently, they think it’s totally okay for those things to happen! or something like that wherein tuition fees rise as the value of the dollar drops, so you’re not actually paying any more real dollars! but the number is bigger! it’s important! Also, disabilities.

Mike Duncan is Natalie Swift’s advisor! Sasa Pudar (UBC Spectator) is running Jeremy McElroy’s campaign! Running a campaign does not constitute a conflict of interest! (We think.)

While we’re at it, the following people are rumoured to have potentially conflicting relationships:

Bijan Ahmadian & Ben Cappellacci
Jeremy McElroy & the Entire Goddamn Ubyssey
Me & Your Mom
Johannes Rebane & Stas Pavlov

He also loves babies, waxing.

Joke candidates past and present, take note, we are calling you out: Jeremy McElroy is Kommander Keg! Geoff Costeloe is the Comrade! And—OMG—hottie Student At Large Nick Fitzgerald is the Invisible Man. Or, at least, his translator.

Blake Frederick & Bijan = NOT BFFs

The Entire Ubyssey Board of Directors = in the same frat. Except for Blake.

And, in case you didn’t know—Johannes Rebane is really, really mean. Really, really, reallllllly mean.

caption contest in the comments, yo

Got any more breaking news for us? Leave it in the comments! I’m gonna go drink.

…or, rather: I’m gonna go drink!!1!!1!

(Editor’s Note: Issues That Matter is concerned about our journalistic integrity. Of which we obviously have shit tonnes of. We don’t kiss and tell, but we do like to drink beer after council meetings. In case you wanted to know, as we know you are so concerned with our unbias)