Stash is a candidate for VP Finance. Here are his answers.

Why do you want to be the VP finance of the AMS?
To be direct and honest: I want to be VP finance because I think there has been a severe shift in the use of the lastmagical thing on campus, namely beer beer beeeeer. Not only do I feel that it is necessary to address the issues of disappearing beer gardens and parties, and increased watchfulness over ourability to have fun, but I am appalled at the fact that the AMS is turning a blind eye to the othermagical things in our world. With my deep connection to the mystic, through my wicked awesome leprachaun abilities, I feel thatI am the best for this job, to show UBC how money should be managed.

What personal skills and experiences could you bring to the portfolio?
Once my grand uncle Poddy O’Keefenhammer was making stew when I walked into the roomafter my morning beer and stroll- grand pint in my hand.I noticed something smelled funny, and before we knew it, uncle Poddy’s beard was on fire. Lucky for me, with a beer in my hand, I knew exactly what to do. I added salt to the stew, looked at my beer, took a grand ol’ swig, and told him to get his act together. I did not spill a drop that day, so let it be known. I stand up for my beer.I also have a friendship with the centaur and unicorn tribes- that’s pretty important.

If there was one thing you could change about the AMS what would it be?
I would abolish unessential services such as safewalk, and hire a band of centaurs to protect the campus. Naturally though, Safewalk employees would be disgruntledand I feel that their livelihood is important so I would hire them to a new group calledUnsafewalk, in which they will wear orc costumes, and roam the campus so that the centaurs have something to deal with.

The athletics fee for UBC students is more than 200 dollars, most of which students never see back. How do you plant to lobby to make that fee accountable to regular non-varsity students? This is so simple. My plan is for the AMS to have unlimited funds. Rationally, gold and money can be always found at the end of the rainbow. What I am going to do is purchase the sole rights to all rainbows on earth from a personal loan from Warren Buffett and Bill Gates.With unlimited rainbows, always available to us at my command (NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS, SO NO ONE CAN JUST STEAL MEEE LUCKY IDEAS) the AMS will have unlimited. This means NOOO STUDENT FEEEEEES!!!!!

What’s your top priority for the AMS businesses? It will be mandatory that all coffee establishments serve they’re coffee’s “Irish”.My experience and budgeting stuff:I worked as a summer investment banker, analyzing portfolii, determining risks for investments, andworking on mergers and acquisitions for the the O’Leary’s Drunken Bank O’ Boozer Leprachaunis.


1 Comment so far

  1. Gene Polovy on January 18, 2008 6:50 am

    i love you man. chris DICKLOCK is gonna lose to you.

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