Today was my first ever orchestra rehearsal. I have played harp in a large ensemble before today; I started playing too late in high school to ever in be in the Winnipeg Youth Orchestra.
So naturally, I was nervous. Very nervous. After all, I’m a total newbie playing with people who are practically professionals, at least compared to me. I could feel my heart rate increase dramatically as the conductor stepped onto his podium, and the rehearsal went downhill from there.
I missed nearly all my entrances. I lost count countless times. I’ve only had the part for two weeks, and since my hands are still a little injured I can only practice so much every day, and in trying to prepare my solo pieces as well, the orchestra part I got wasn’t quite learned for today. Mostly, but not quite. Well, it turns out that all the parts I can do really well are buried under mountains of double bass and brass, while the parts I’m not sure about are pretty much solos. And all of them I screwed up today.
*head desk*
I felt so awful. Embarrassed. Ashamed. I should be better than this!
I know, I know. There’s still an entire month til the performance (which is at 8 pm in the Chan on March 31, if anyone wants to come), and I’ll have it learned by then. I hope. It was my first rehearsal ever, it’s okay, yadda yadda…
I just feel like I let myself down. And that is much worse than anyone else.
That's me! I'm a fourth year, introverted, Winnipeg-hailing, blog-writing, cookie-eating, harp-playing, yoga-doing, blanket-knitting music student at UBC. I'm always trekking around campus in my Pumas and massive black backpack, and if you spot me, come say hi! It would be nice to know someone actually reads these things!
